••
♥
A Bosnian interviews for a job in Germany.
“Where are you from?” asks the employer.
“From Bosnia!”
“Oh, I know,” says the German, “you Bosnian's
are known to be lazy.”
“Oh no, sir,” responds the Bosnian, “those are the
Montenegrin s.
We Bosnian's are stupid!”
••
Why do women like men who are smart, goal
orientated and have a sense of humor?
Because opposites attract.
••
I can't diet because it would devastate the local
fast food economy, and frankly, I just don't think
I could live with that kind of guilt.
••
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her
to a taxidermist.
••
I know I'm going to be a great dad someday
because everything already annoys me.
••
I am now proud to announce that I am no longer
a pedophile after four years of name calling and
disgusting looks.
My fiancee turned 16 today.
••
Getting anything done around here is like
mating elephants.
It's done on a very high level.
There's a lot of stomping and screaming
involved.
And it takes two years to get any results.
••
If you want to relate to how old people feel
just imagine that a bowl of soup cost $40 and
everybody else acted like that was fine....
••
I guess some things will never change.
I hired a temp while my secretary was on
maternity leave.
Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked
what she expected to earn.
She said, "Well... the minimum I could work for
is four hundred a week."
I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure.
She shook her head and replied, "With pleasure,
it'll be $600......... a week."
••
Mermaids who never get married eventually
accumulate a bunch of catfish.
••
Neighbor: Yard sale huh?
How much is this mower?
Me: $50
Him: Wait! That's the one you borrowed from me!
Me: $20
Him: Its a $500 mower!
Me: ..$100
••••
