••
♥
I drank so much wine last night, when I walked
across the dance floor to get another glass,
I won the dance competition.
••
My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy,
she caught him cheating so she took away his play
station for a week....
••
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist
colony?
A: Look for sesame seed buns.
••
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain
rejected you!
••
Before college I didn't have a degree, or money,
or any idea what I was doing with my life.
But NOW I have a degree.
••
I farted while lifting a heavy object today.
It was very embarrassing.
I had to apologize to the people in the check out
line, in Walmart..
••
At night court, a man was brought in and set
before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation,
and the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put this man
in a dry cell!"
••
I bought a toilet brush, but it's kind of rough.
I'm switching back to paper.
••
I hear that when your mother first saw you, she
decided to leave you on the front steps of a police
station while she turned herself in.
••••
