••
♥
A girl realized that she had grown hair between
her legs.
She got worried and asked her mom about that
hair.
Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair
has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your
monkey has grown hair.” …. the girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has
grown hair.”
Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine
is already eating bananas.”
••
When my girlfriend said she was leaving because
of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she
was joking.
And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer.
••
I've spent the last six months trying to find my
Mother-In-Law's killer, but no one is willing to
do it.
••
When I was a kid, I used to lick things
to make them mine...... It still works.
••
I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan
Somebody is going to be wrong.
••
Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside
a clinic.
Bill happened to be crying very loudly.
"Why are you crying?" Bob asked.
"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.
"So? Are you afraid?"
"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying
profusely.
Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked
Bob, "Why are you crying now?"
To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"
••
Women don't consider it chivalrous when you
open bathroom stall doors for them.
••
Hey Timex!
If I end up 660ft under water...
I'm pretty sure that I won't need a watch.
••
When I was a kid I made all of my toys watch Toy
Story so that they knew I was on to them.
••
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent
now he'll never have any friends.
••••
