••
♥
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an
arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
••
They sell book lights now, a little spotlight you
attach to your book.
You know, I actually thought about buying one
of these, and then I remembered, I own a lamp.
••
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the
wrong finger?"
The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the
wrong man."
••
Little Pamela watched as her mother welcomed
Aunt Doris into the living room.
Little Pamela asked her aunt if she would like to
go to the backyard to see her bicycle.
Aunt Doris agreed and they went to the backyard
where a brand new bicycle was parked.
Aunt Doris, "Wow, that's a beautiful bicycle!
Can you ride it?"
"Of course I can ride it!" said Little Pamela,
and then added sadly, "but it's broke."
Aunt Doris looked again at the bicycle and it
seemed absolutely ok to her.
So she asked her, "It looks fine to me.
What's wrong with it?"
Little Pamela said, "Its strange...........
Whenever I ride it, it falls down!"
••
On a ship, a French, a Russian, and an American
were on a ships cruise.
Suddenly the Devil appeared and said,
"Drop something in the sea and if I find it I will
take your soul and you'll burn through eternity ...
If I can't, then I will be your Slave !"
The French man dropped a diamond.
The Devil quickly found it and condemns his soul
to burn through eternity.
The Russian dropped a tiny tin of caviar.
The Devil found it and condemns his soul to burn
through eternity also.
Now it's the American's turn.
He proceeded to open a bottle of water, and
poured it in the sea!
He tells the Devil, "Yeah man, find that Red !!!
Yuh think American's are completely stupid ?"
••
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for
some minor surgery, and the day after the
procedure a friend stopped by to see how the guy
was doing.
His friend was amazed at the number of nurses
who entered the room in short intervals with
refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the
bed, give back rubs, etc.
"Why all the attention?" the friend asked,
"You look fine to me."
"I know !" grinned the patient.
"But the nurses kind of formed a little fan club
when they all heard that my circumcision...
required Twenty-Seven Stitches."
••
What do Arabs do on saturday night?
They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
••
I got a text message from my wife earlier that read,
"I'm lying in bed waiting for you."
I text back..... "I'd love a shag, babe, but I'm stuck
in work."
She replied, "You forgot I'm having surgery today
didn't you?"
••
Two doctors found themselves on the beach in
Hawaii.
As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by,
one said, "Look at the legs among that group."
"Sorry old chap." replied the second doctor.
"But I'm a chest man myself."
••
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits, $10.
They won't last an hour!"
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