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Nairobi, Kenya -- A Kenyan doctor who removed
a bean stuck in the ear of a young girl forced it
back when her parents said they couldn't afford
the bill, local newspapers reported Wednesday.
The Daily Nation said the doctor successfully
removed the bean from the child's ear and then
presented the parents with a bill for $5.75.
When they said they did not have enough money,
the doctor grabbed the child, forced the bean back
into her ear and ejected the family from his
workplace.
The Kenya Medical Association said it was
investigating the incident.
••
At a dinner party, husband was about to deliver
speech as Guest Speaker, his wife, who was
sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a
piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled
on it.
A guest seated next to me said, “It looks like
your wife has sent you a kiss for good luck.
She must love you very much.”
He clarified, “You don’t know my wife.
The letters stand for “Keep it short, stupid.”
••
Lance Armstrong should keep his awards.
Last time I rode a bike doped up, I ran into a
parked zebra.
••
Jill and John got married.
John thought this would be a "marriage of the
90's" -- equal roles for equal partners.
So, the first morning back from their
honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed.
Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills,
however.
She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted,
"Poached? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the next morning, John brought
his true love a scrambled egg.
Jill wasn't having any of it.
"Do you think I don't like variety?
I wanted poached this morning!"
Determined to please Jill, the next morning he
thought, "third time's a charm" and brought
her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached."Here, my love, enjoy!"
Jill looks at the plate and says,
"You scrambled the wrong egg."
••
I just called to get my credit score and I heard
laughing in the background.
Sounds like a cool place to work.
••
One day a teacher was talking about marriage
in class...
Teacher : What kind of wife would you like
Johnny?
Johnny : I would want a wife like the moon...
Teacher : Wow !! what a choice...do you want
her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?
Johnny : No, I want her to arrive at night and
disappear in the morning....
••
Browsing through a magazine, John was
caught by a story about chickens, which have
yellow eyes, being fitted with red contact
lenses, which "make them eat less, lay more,
and stop henpecking."
That's what it said.
John turns to Jill and says, "You know, once
word of this gets around, rose-colored glasses
are going to be the hottest Christmas gift
from husbands to wives!"
••
An elderly man took his little grandson for a
walk around the local cemetery.
Pausing before one gravestone, he said,
"There lies a very honest man.
He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled
to the end to pay off his debts and if anyone
has gone to Heaven, he has."
They walked on a bit farther and then came to
another grave.
The old man pointed to the gravestone and said,
"Now, there's a different type of man altogether.
He owed me 60 dollars and he died without
ever trying to pay me back.
If anyone has gone to Hell, he has."
The little boy thought for awhile and then said,
"You know, Granddad, you are very lucky."
"Why"? asked the old man in surprise.
"Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have
some money waiting when you get there!"
••
A homeless guy came up to me and asked
"any change?"
I said "no, still got big house and the nice car"
••
Shortly after being assigned to a new base,
a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the
Colonel's home for an evening of bridge.
The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel's
wife and vice versa.
After many hands, the Lieutenant excused
himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the
door ajar.
When the sound of splashing echoed through
the family room, his wife was greatly
embarrassed and attempted to apologize, to
which the Colonel's wife smiled demurely,
"Don't worry about it; this is the first time all
evening that I've been able to tell what he has
in his hand."
••
On the way to the store, the missus told me
she accidentally ran over the neighbour's dog
and crushed it's skull.
Poor thing never stood a chance.
Next time she's taking the car.
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