••
♥
If really good-looking people are "eye candy",
guess I'd be "eye broccoli".
••
Morris and his wife are seated in a fancy French
restaurant for dinner.
After the waiter arrives, the man says,
"I'll have your biggest, thickest Porterhouse
steak....medium rare. "
The waiter replies, "Monsieur, what about ze
mad cow?"
The man replies, "She'll have a salad."
And then the fight started...Needless to say we
didn't have our dinner at the restaurant, and
none at home either!
••
Guys who say there's a party in their pants are
probably referring to search parties.
••
"A good relationship is like fireworks: loud,
explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on
too long."
••
Either these e-cigarettes keep getting bigger,
or I just saw someone smoking a clarinet.
••
There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.
••
I missed a few days of school last week and
had to Paypal my lunch money to the school bully.
••
Graduates ask....
The graduate with a science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
"How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
"Do you want fries with that?"
••
Sue said;
I don't want to die a virgin because that means
I'll have to have sex with terrorists.
••
If everyone would stop screaming, I'm sure we'd
all agree I'm not supposed to be in this women's
restroom.
••••
