••
♥
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their
relationships, I'm left wondering. . .Is it my wife
or my girlfriend that's cheating?
••
I have no documentation regarding the validity of
this study.
It may have been conducted by the American
Insurance Industry or the Funeral Home
Operators Local Union 567 in Chicago,
but it is founded on certain facts that must be
reckoned with to sustain a healthy existence......
A new study has found that women with large
asses live longer than men who mention it.
••
If law school is so hard to get through, how
come there are so many lawyers?
••
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote
control.
I thought to myself, "Well, this changes everything."
••
A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for
a drink.
The bartender asks the seal, 'What's your pleasure?'
The seal replies, 'Anything but Canadian Club.'
••
How does a yuppie couple perform doggie-style
sex?
He sits up and begs and she lies down and
plays dead.
••
When I’m in an argument, I just go quiet and
stare, a technique I learned from cats....
••
Two male giraffes walk into a bar.
The both order a cocktail.
When the drinks are served, each takes a sip.
One turns to the other and says,
"Man, I just love having high balls!"
••
Why didn't the skeleton want to play football?
Because his heart wasn't in it!
••
"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing
thing a shoe shiner hears in the morning.
••
I was impressed by my nephew's vocabulary
and said to him, "Joe, you are wonderful with
words!"
Only five years old, my nephew responded,
"I have words in my head I haven't even used
yet."
♦♦♦♦
