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Illinois Mid-Term elections . . .
In the upcoming Illinois Primary and General
Mid-term elections, candidates on Chicago’s
Democratic ballot will include someone who
served a prison term for bribery, another who
is due to go on trial on bribery charges and a
third charged with bank fraud.
Or, as it is known in Chicago, an election.
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A wireless bra?
They weren't tricky enough, now I need a
password?
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I've been told I'm not ambitious enough.
If only there was an Olympic sport for being a
lazy bastard, that bronze medal would be mine.
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On one occasion a student burst into his office.
"Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this F
you've given me."
To which Stigler replied, "I agree, but
unfortunately it is the lowest grade the
University will allow me to award."
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'A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself
because he can't help himself'
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Good News, Bad News, Worse News
Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more
kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them....
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It's okay to kiss a nun,
just don't get into the habit..
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My dad discovered the Internet.
Uh, just because someone raised you, does not
mean that you have to add them on Facebook.
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What is the difference between a toilet and
Convenience Store Clerk?
A toilet only has to deal with one asshole at a time.
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ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING I am returning
this otherwise good typing paper to you because
someone has printed gibberish all over it and put
your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University
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Send this Quote to a friend!
Do you know what it means to come home at
night to a woman who'll give you a little love,
a little affection, a little tenderness?
It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it
means.......
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