Sunday, April 27, 2014

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"HOTRODDER"



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House is a mess ...  
Walked in the other day and there were 2 
people on the couch, blindfolded, filming a 
Fabreeze commercial. 

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couple poems.....
He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart The Toccata,
He'd boom from his ass
Bach's B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata. 
................................................................
Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious Lieutenant Major,
Ben proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of the Hayden Octet in B-Major. 

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A while back there was a "true" story 
(urban legend) about a guy
who was interrupted by the doorbell.
Upon opening the door he found some religious 
nuts who were very annoying. 
As he was in the middle of preparing dinner, 
he'd gone to the door with a very large knife in 
his hand.
At some point, he called out to his friends asking 
if they'd gotten The virgin ready for the sacrifice.  
At this point, the callers fled from the home, 
never to return again.

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"You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck 
than eaten by a shark." 
The shark made a convincing argument, 
so I got out of the cage. 

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Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from 
the Paralympics after they tested positive for 
WD40. 

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Olympic Sailing results are in: 
US took gold 
New Zealand took silver 
Somalia took a Middle aged couple from 
Great Britain....

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What did the blonde say when she saw the sign 
in front of the YMCA?
"Look! they spelled MACY'S wrong.

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I learned two important lessons today. 
I can't remember the first lesson, but the second 
one is I have to start writing things down. 

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My wife and I were watching a show on 
The Learning Channel titled, "A Dog's World." 
One segment focused on dogs practice of 
urinating everywhere to define who they are and 
whose territory it is, among many other things.
"Basically," the narrator said, "dogs are leaving 
each other messages."
I looked at my wife and said, "So I guess we could 
call it p-mail." 

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yo grammatical atrocities so huge,  
you need typosuction. 


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