Saturday, March 22, 2014

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What you reading??







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You know old age is creeping up on you when 
the "pull my finger" joke has a lot more riding 
on it . . .

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I want to steal a doughnut truck and go on a  
high speed chase, because it would be funny 
watching a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck.

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Searchers for the missing Malaysian Jet 
have located the Wings! 
But Mr. and Mrs Wing said they did not know 
where the plane was though.

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Making out your own income tax return is 
something like a do-it-yourself mugging. 

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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what 
shampoo they used when showering. 
98 of them said, "How the hell did you get in 
here?" 

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AP (Reuters) 2 Hours ago: 
The U.S. Has just announced that they will 
unilaterally Annex Cuba. 
President Obama said in A speech that there 
are Many People in Cuba that Want to be 
Americans. 
And many speak English. 
This comes as no surprise as the recent 
Successful Russian annex of Crimea took place 
While President Obama was filling out his 
March Madness Bracket.
More on this story at 11:00. 

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The problem with the gene pool is that there is 
no lifeguard. 

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Automobile lovers all over the world are said 
to be supporting the NATO air assault on Serbia. 
Recent pictures from Serbian television 
apparently showed the Yugo factory ablaze.

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It's not the torch she carries for me that 
has me worried. 
It's the gas can in her other hand. 

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It was one of the best moments of married life 
when my son finally found out Father Christmas 
wasn't real.
I overheard him telling his sister in her bedroom, 
"It's actually our parents who do it!" 
My daughter said, "But I can't believe dad 
would do that?!"
Then he said these beautiful words and earned 
himself that new bike:
"It's not dad, it can't be. 
Mum's the only one fat enough, with a beard."

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My internet went down. 
By which I mean my neighbors changed their 
password. 

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