Damn, one ugly cat....
••
♥
On my first day of school my parents dropped
me off at the wrong nursery.
There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes.
••
Saw a sign in the bus station today,
it said "One bus takes 35 cars off the road."
Personally I think it depends on how aggressive
the driver is.
••
Colorado passed both laws.... Gay Marriage
and Legalized Marijuana.
The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were
legalized on the same day makes perfect
biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says,
"If a man lies with another man they should
be stoned."
I guess I just hadn't interpreted it correctly
before!
••
4-Sale, Mint condition solar powered flash-light
Cheap.
••
I was walking down the road when I saw a
strange man in an upstairs window waving at
me.
After a quick glance around to make sure it
was indeed me he was waving at, I hesitantly
waved back.
He then continued to wave, but I was certain
that I didn't know him so I carried on walking.
I can't spend all day waving at strange people
in windows!
When I got to the end of the road I glanced
over my shoulder one last time to see if the
weirdo was still waving and was horrified to
discover he'd now started an indoor bonfire.
Some people are so dumb.
••
I walked into a parts store told the guy behind
the counter that I wanted a gas cap for my yugo.
He said it sounded like a even trade......
••
I asked my wife what she wanted for her
birthday, and she told me that she wanted
something to make her more beautiful,
so I bought me a half gallon on Jack Daniels.
••
After the tiring wedding ceremony, the tired
groom gets romantic and says to the bride,
"Darling, should I take you on a ride to the
Moon or do you prefer the stars?"
The bridely replies, "Sweetheart, why don't you
show me your rocket first.
I will decide only after I see it."
••
I went on Google Earth for the first time today,
as like most people I punched in the zip code of
my home address, with my wife looking over
my shoulder I made a terrible mistake and
zoomed in.
10 minutes later I had 6 extra jobs to do at the
weekend.
••
A political man to a woman, "You look beautiful
today!!!!"
The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately
I could not say the same about you."
"Sure you could!!" said the political man,
"if you could lie as well as I do!"
••
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: How much money have you got?
••
Boycott shampoo!
Demand the REAL poo!
••••
