••
♥
Edward who works at a Wal-Mart.
One day an older gent asked him, "Where are
Depends?"
I took him over to the adult incontinence
under-garments and then his face turned red
with embarrassment.
"No," he said, and took an ink pen out of his
pocket.
"I want da pens."
••
Seen in a paper...
Help Wanted:
Advertising publication needs 1 FT person, exp.
with ad copy, layout, proofreading, and some
secretarial skills.
••
Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing
your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?"
Witness: "Where am I Cathy?"
Attorney: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "Because my name is Susan."
••
What's brown and crispy on the outside, and
white and creamy on the inside?
A cockroach.
••
A man was giving a speech at his lodge meeting.
He got a bit carried away and talked for two
hours.
Finally, he realized what he had done and said,
"I'm sorry I talked so long.
I left my watch at home."
A voice from the back of the room replied,
"There's a calendar behind you..."
••
The owner of the hair salon had to make cuts
on his staff.”
••
A family owned a tomcat, of whom it was
normally quite fond.
Quite often, however, the cat would get out at
night and go around the neighborhood howling
and screeching and meowing so loudly that
people would complain.
The family took the tomcat to a veterinarian,
and had him fixed.
A few nights later, though, the cat was out again
and this time he was making even more noise
than usual.
Not only that, but a lot of other cats were
howling and yelling, too.
The father of the house went out to see what
was going on.
He caught the cat's attention and asked,
"What are you doing?
You're supposed to be over all this."
"Oh," replied the cat, "He who can, DOES;
he who cannot, TEACHES."
••
Why are computers like air conditioners?
They quit working properly when you
open Windows.
••
I put my air conditioner in backwards.
It got cold outside.
The weatherman on TV was confused.
"It was supposed to be hot today."
••
Just thought I'd nip over to my Nan's, and fair
play to her, at 96, she had all the Halloween
decorations up, cobwebs and insects in the
windows and a skeleton on the couch.
She always makes a big effort, but there was no
answer...I'll pop back next year.
••
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world
"up over"?
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