••
♥
One time an escaping midget, climbing down a
jail fence who sneers at you?
A little con descending.
••
I've been reading a book on euthanasia...
It's so good I can't put it down.
My uncle tried it, it put him to sleep.
••
A Singaporean, a Chinese and an Indian were
asked to compare their Leaders with a National
Landmark or Monument (man made or natural).
The Chinese wrote, “My leaders are like the
Great Wall of China…old, but still as strong as
the bricks in the Wall.”
The Singaporean wrote, “My leaders are like
the many high-rise buildings in Singapore.
They build our nation and bring us to greater
heights.”
The Indian wrote, “My leaders are like the
Himalaya Mountains.
They have been around for a long time,
doing nothing.”
••
Q: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel,
a poodle and a rooster?
A: Cockerpoodledoo!
••
Sign of the times...
A woman met her husband at the train station
after work for the ride home.
He looked haggard, so she asked, "Rough day?"
"You bet it was," he groaned.
"Our computers were down, and we had to
think all day long."
••
A married couple was watching volleyball game
at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in
the bleachers.
They were being very affectionate.
The girl was running her hands all over the
boyfriend and nibbling on his ear.
He had his hands on her chest.
Looking at them, the wife said to her husband
"I don't know whether to watch them or the
game."
Husband said, "Better watch them!
You already know how to play volleyball."
••
“The stripper was getting tired of the same old
thong and dance.”
••
A business man called and had a question
about the documents he needed in order to fly
to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports,
I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh, no, I don't.
I've been to China many times and never had
to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay
required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've
been to China 4 times and every time they have
accepted my American Express."
••
Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!
••
There's just no pleasin' some women at all.
Just the other day I was trying to read the
paper and naturally, my wife picked that
moment to begin a discussion.
I heard her say "...and then I went to see Dr.
Gibbons."
I grunted a reply, and she raised her voice
saying, "Are you listening to me?"
I put the paper down and said, "Yes sweetheart,
I heard every word.
You said you went to see Dr. Gibbons.
So... how is he ???"
Would y'all believe she didn't talk to me the
rest of the evening ?
••
Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the
dynamic young preacher raised himself to full
height, leaned over the pulpit and boomed,
"Brothers and sisters, if there are any among
you who have committed adultery, may your
tongue cleave to the woof of your mouf!"
••••
