••
♥
I once dated a girl who owned a parrot.
I would hear the same thing over and over.
Never a moment of silence.
... but the parrot was cool though!
I would hear the same thing over and over.
Never a moment of silence.
... but the parrot was cool though!
••
President Obama’s approval rating is down to
39 percent.
And Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who admitted
to smoking crack cocaine, went up to 49 percent.
Apparently, we'd be better off if Obama smoked
crack instead of passing ObamaCare.....
39 percent.
And Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who admitted
to smoking crack cocaine, went up to 49 percent.
Apparently, we'd be better off if Obama smoked
crack instead of passing ObamaCare.....
••
Q: When does a person decide to become an
accountant?
A: When he realises he doesn't have the
charisma to succeed as an
undertaker.
accountant?
A: When he realises he doesn't have the
charisma to succeed as an
undertaker.
••
Carolyn had been born and raised in Iowa and
her first trip outside the state was to enroll in
college in New York city.
Her roommate was a typical NY snob, yet had
a nice streak.
After hearing Carolyn say she was from Iowa
her roommate was quick to point out
"that's all very nice, but here in the east we
pronounce it Ohio."
her first trip outside the state was to enroll in
college in New York city.
Her roommate was a typical NY snob, yet had
a nice streak.
After hearing Carolyn say she was from Iowa
her roommate was quick to point out
"that's all very nice, but here in the east we
pronounce it Ohio."
••
There was a young man from Montrose
Who could diddle himself with his toes
He did it so neat
He fell in love with his feet,
And christened them Myrtle and Rose...
Who could diddle himself with his toes
He did it so neat
He fell in love with his feet,
And christened them Myrtle and Rose...
••
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
Township, N. J.,
in September, and his wife Bonnie was also
injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that
blew up in their car.
While driving around at 2a.m., the bored couple
lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the
window to see what would happen,
but they apparently failed to notice that the
window was closed.
Township, N. J.,
in September, and his wife Bonnie was also
injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that
blew up in their car.
While driving around at 2a.m., the bored couple
lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the
window to see what would happen,
but they apparently failed to notice that the
window was closed.
••
I gazed into her eyes
My heart was pounding
Lips trembling, unable to speak
Sweat forming on my brow.
She opened her petite little mouth and uttered
three words I'll never forget.
"That's him Officer"
My heart was pounding
Lips trembling, unable to speak
Sweat forming on my brow.
She opened her petite little mouth and uttered
three words I'll never forget.
"That's him Officer"
••
Jennifer was walking by the jewelry store one
day in the midtown mall.
She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked.
In the store she went.
Excuse me, she said to the saleslady, Will a
small deposit hold this until my husband does
something unforgivable?
day in the midtown mall.
She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked.
In the store she went.
Excuse me, she said to the saleslady, Will a
small deposit hold this until my husband does
something unforgivable?
••
There’s been a lot of speculation but now it’s
clear that Joe Biden will run for president in
2016.
In an effort to appear presidential, today Biden
launched a website that doesn’t work.
clear that Joe Biden will run for president in
2016.
In an effort to appear presidential, today Biden
launched a website that doesn’t work.
••
Garbage collectors were picking up our trash as
my wife walked back into our house.
A particular barrel was very heavy.
“Lady, we can’t take this,” one man called out.
“It’s way over the weight limit.”
My wife turned her eight-month-pregnant
figure toward him.
“It didn't seem that heavy when I carried it out,”
she said.
Without another word, the man emptied the
barrel into the truck.
my wife walked back into our house.
A particular barrel was very heavy.
“Lady, we can’t take this,” one man called out.
“It’s way over the weight limit.”
My wife turned her eight-month-pregnant
figure toward him.
“It didn't seem that heavy when I carried it out,”
she said.
Without another word, the man emptied the
barrel into the truck.
••••
