••
♥
I can't understand how none of the Muslim
countries are competing in the Olympic curling,
I hear they are pretty good at throwing stones...
countries are competing in the Olympic curling,
I hear they are pretty good at throwing stones...
••
Short 'N Sweet.....
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what
should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Short 'N Sweet.....
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what
should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
••
OMG............
25 March 1993]
A Vapid Death: A terrible diet and room with
no ventilation are being blamed for the death
of a man who was killed by his own gas.
There was no mark on his body but autopsy
showed large amounts of methane gas in his
system.
His diet had consisted primarily of beans and
cabbage (and a couple other things).
It was just the right combination of foods.
It appears that the man died in his sleep from
breathing from the poisonous cloud that was
hanging over his bed.
Had he been outside or had his windows
opened it wouldn't have been fatal but the man
was shut up in his near airtight bedroom.
He was ...a big man with a huge capacity for
creating [this deadly gas].''
Three of the rescue workers got sick and
one was hospitalized.
OMG............
25 March 1993]
A Vapid Death: A terrible diet and room with
no ventilation are being blamed for the death
of a man who was killed by his own gas.
There was no mark on his body but autopsy
showed large amounts of methane gas in his
system.
His diet had consisted primarily of beans and
cabbage (and a couple other things).
It was just the right combination of foods.
It appears that the man died in his sleep from
breathing from the poisonous cloud that was
hanging over his bed.
Had he been outside or had his windows
opened it wouldn't have been fatal but the man
was shut up in his near airtight bedroom.
He was ...a big man with a huge capacity for
creating [this deadly gas].''
Three of the rescue workers got sick and
one was hospitalized.
••
Why do single women take advice from other
single women?
That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles
driving directions.
single women?
That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles
driving directions.
••
An American decides to go to Russia to get
himself a bear trophy.
He arrives in a small village and meets his
guide.
The guide explains, "Okay. Ve valk five mile.
I go in cave vake bear.
She angry.
I run, you run, she no eat.
I run, you no run, she eat you..... Okay?"
The American agrees, grabs his rifle and
follows the guide out to the cave.
As promised, the guide walks and wakes the
bear, and this she-bear is pissed.
Immediately the guide and the hunter begin
running to the village.
The bear is hot on their heels.
About a mile into the run the American feels
the years of McDonalds start to kick in.
He turns around, and puts a bullet right
through the bear's head.
Immediately she drops.
Turning to the guide with a smug grin he says,
"Now why the hell didn't we do that in the first
place?"
Sighing, the guide slowly turns around and
replies, "Now you drag bear four mile."
himself a bear trophy.
He arrives in a small village and meets his
guide.
The guide explains, "Okay. Ve valk five mile.
I go in cave vake bear.
She angry.
I run, you run, she no eat.
I run, you no run, she eat you..... Okay?"
The American agrees, grabs his rifle and
follows the guide out to the cave.
As promised, the guide walks and wakes the
bear, and this she-bear is pissed.
Immediately the guide and the hunter begin
running to the village.
The bear is hot on their heels.
About a mile into the run the American feels
the years of McDonalds start to kick in.
He turns around, and puts a bullet right
through the bear's head.
Immediately she drops.
Turning to the guide with a smug grin he says,
"Now why the hell didn't we do that in the first
place?"
Sighing, the guide slowly turns around and
replies, "Now you drag bear four mile."
••
Doctor told Mrs. Stone to give her husband
one pill a day and one drink of whiskey which
would improve his stamina.
A month later, when Mrs. Stone came in for a
follow up visit, the doctor asked "How are we
doing with the pills and the whiskey?"
Well Mrs. Stone answered "He's a little behind
with the pills, but he is about SIX months ahead
with the whiskey."
one pill a day and one drink of whiskey which
would improve his stamina.
A month later, when Mrs. Stone came in for a
follow up visit, the doctor asked "How are we
doing with the pills and the whiskey?"
Well Mrs. Stone answered "He's a little behind
with the pills, but he is about SIX months ahead
with the whiskey."
••
Con artists are using Obamacare confusion to
sign people up for fake health insurance.
The scammers lure victims with false promises
like, “If you like your healthcare plan, you can
keep your healthcare plan.”
The scammers will tell you that, so you have to
be careful.
sign people up for fake health insurance.
The scammers lure victims with false promises
like, “If you like your healthcare plan, you can
keep your healthcare plan.”
The scammers will tell you that, so you have to
be careful.
••
Suggestions?
I've always been smoothe helping a woman out
of her bra, and can easily unsnap one with a
single hand, but I'm having trouble coming up
with a sexy way to help my latest girlfriend slide
out of her Depends.
I've always been smoothe helping a woman out
of her bra, and can easily unsnap one with a
single hand, but I'm having trouble coming up
with a sexy way to help my latest girlfriend slide
out of her Depends.
••
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of
her will, the attorney charged her $100.
She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that it
was stuck to another $100 bill.
On seeing the two bills stuck together,
the ethical question came to the attorney's
mind: "Do I tell my partner?"
Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of
her will, the attorney charged her $100.
She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that it
was stuck to another $100 bill.
On seeing the two bills stuck together,
the ethical question came to the attorney's
mind: "Do I tell my partner?"
••
White House: It's A Good Thing That
Obamacare will Drive 2.5 Million Americans
Out Of The Workforce.
Press Secretary Jay Carney claimed that 2.5
million Americans leaving the workforce was a
good thing, because they would no longer be
“trapped in a job.”
Obamacare will Drive 2.5 Million Americans
Out Of The Workforce.
Press Secretary Jay Carney claimed that 2.5
million Americans leaving the workforce was a
good thing, because they would no longer be
“trapped in a job.”
••
Here's a hint: Women hate undressing in the
company of other women, but not in front of a
man.
Women tend to be judgmental, but men just
appreciate it.
company of other women, but not in front of a
man.
Women tend to be judgmental, but men just
appreciate it.
••••
