••
♥
The waiter said, "How would you like your
steak, sir?"
I said, "The same as sex with my wife."
He said, "Sorry, I don't know what you mean."
I said, "Rare."
steak, sir?"
I said, "The same as sex with my wife."
He said, "Sorry, I don't know what you mean."
I said, "Rare."
••
I thought the swine flu was history.
But just when we thought it left us, now it has
come back to make people sick and wreak
more havoc.
But just when we thought it left us, now it has
come back to make people sick and wreak
more havoc.
It's like Dennis Rodman.
••
According to a new international survey,
among Catholics Pope Francis has an approval
rating of 88 percent.
That is unless he comes out with FrancisCare.
Then the whole thing could plummet.
According to a new international survey,
among Catholics Pope Francis has an approval
rating of 88 percent.
That is unless he comes out with FrancisCare.
Then the whole thing could plummet.
••
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
••
Two men were changing in the locker room
after a game of tennis.
One notices the other one is putting on pair of
stockings and suspenders.
He says "When did you start wearing them?"
To which the other man replies
"Since my wife found a pair on the back seat
of the car."
after a game of tennis.
One notices the other one is putting on pair of
stockings and suspenders.
He says "When did you start wearing them?"
To which the other man replies
"Since my wife found a pair on the back seat
of the car."
••
I'm reading a great book about antigravity—
I just can't put it down.
I just can't put it down.
••
According to a study conducted by Kaiser
Permanente, prostitutes can suffer from
post-traumatic stress disorder on a par with
veterans of the Vietnam war.
I think I speak for a lot of men when I say,
"are there still volunteer spots available in this
study?"
Permanente, prostitutes can suffer from
post-traumatic stress disorder on a par with
veterans of the Vietnam war.
I think I speak for a lot of men when I say,
"are there still volunteer spots available in this
study?"
••
I can always tell when I've had too much to
drink at the pub because I start dropping things.
Like my standards......
I can always tell when I've had too much to
drink at the pub because I start dropping things.
Like my standards......
••
In Seattle, a woman ate nothing but Starbucks
food for a year.
Not intentionally.
It just took her that long to get to the front of
the line.
food for a year.
Not intentionally.
It just took her that long to get to the front of
the line.
••
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable
that we have to alter it every six months."
that we have to alter it every six months."
••
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for
nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the
bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use
the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow
crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the
while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in
the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemnly
nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the
bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use
the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow
crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the
while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in
the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemnly
••.
An Ad; Travel North Korea.....
You make the plan, and leave the execution to
us.
You make the plan, and leave the execution to
us.
••••
