♣♣
♥
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to
improve it makes it worse.
♣♣
I always wondered why cross eyed people never
get hit crossing the road.
Then it hit me.
They are always looking both ways!
get hit crossing the road.
Then it hit me.
They are always looking both ways!
♣♣
Blunderbuss
Bus full of pregnant women.....
Bus full of pregnant women.....
♣♣
When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased
the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't
tell you is that he was the only one who saw
any snakes!
When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased
the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't
tell you is that he was the only one who saw
any snakes!
♣♣
Hoffman and Puscas are bombed, watching the
St. Patrick's Day Parade, when one of them
drops his lit cigarette into a damp mattress
that's been left out on the sidewalk.
The mattress starts to smoulder just as the
blue-hair brigade, the Ladies' Auxiliary, is
passing by.
Hoffman takes a whiff, turns to Puscas, and
says, "Man... ou think maybe they're marching
these ladies too fast?"
St. Patrick's Day Parade, when one of them
drops his lit cigarette into a damp mattress
that's been left out on the sidewalk.
The mattress starts to smoulder just as the
blue-hair brigade, the Ladies' Auxiliary, is
passing by.
Hoffman takes a whiff, turns to Puscas, and
says, "Man... ou think maybe they're marching
these ladies too fast?"
♣♣
Your first job will be to sweep the floor.
But I'm a college student the young man
replied.
In that case give me the broom - I'll show you
how.
But I'm a college student the young man
replied.
In that case give me the broom - I'll show you
how.
♣♣
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the
little packet.
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the
little packet.
♣♣
Paddy and his missus are lying in bed
listening to the next door neighbor's dog
barking.
It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his
wife says, "The dog is still barking.
What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard -
now we'll see how they like it!"
listening to the next door neighbor's dog
barking.
It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his
wife says, "The dog is still barking.
What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard -
now we'll see how they like it!"
♣♣
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been
making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen
floor.
making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen
floor.
♣♣
I was on a date with my wife and I couldn't
stop staring at her hard nipples.
She asked, "Is there something wrong?"
I said, "No love, why do you ask?"
She replied, "You've been looking at the floor
all night."
stop staring at her hard nipples.
She asked, "Is there something wrong?"
I said, "No love, why do you ask?"
She replied, "You've been looking at the floor
all night."
♣♣
Two women were having lunch together, and
discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.
The first woman says, "I need to be honest with
you, I'm getting a boob job."
The second woman says "Oh that's nothing,
I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!"
To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't
picture your husband as a blonde!"
discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.
The first woman says, "I need to be honest with
you, I'm getting a boob job."
The second woman says "Oh that's nothing,
I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!"
To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't
picture your husband as a blonde!"
♣♣
For Halloween I'm going to wear a pacman suit
and chase Muslim women in burkas around the
town center
and chase Muslim women in burkas around the
town center
♣♣♣♣.
