••
♥
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like
most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
'I like your sense of humor!'
most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
'I like your sense of humor!'
••
A very well-built young lady was lying on her
psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated
she was.
"I tried to be an actress and failed," she
complained.
"I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being
a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales
clerk and I failed at that, too."
The shrink thought for a moment and said...
"Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life.
Why don't you try nursing?"
The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her
large, breasts, points it at the shrink,
and says... "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"
psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated
she was.
"I tried to be an actress and failed," she
complained.
"I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being
a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales
clerk and I failed at that, too."
The shrink thought for a moment and said...
"Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life.
Why don't you try nursing?"
The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her
large, breasts, points it at the shrink,
and says... "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"
••
Some of the most tactful people on Earth
are English.
One office supervisor called a secretary in to
give her the bad news that she was being
fired.
He started the conversation with:
"Miss Symthe, I really don't know how we're
going to get along without you, but starting
Monday, we're going to try.
are English.
One office supervisor called a secretary in to
give her the bad news that she was being
fired.
He started the conversation with:
"Miss Symthe, I really don't know how we're
going to get along without you, but starting
Monday, we're going to try.
••
On a bumper sticker:
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
••
Said a swinging young girl named Lyth
Whose virtue was largely a myth,
"Try as hard as I can,
I can't find a man
That it's fun to be virtuous with."
Whose virtue was largely a myth,
"Try as hard as I can,
I can't find a man
That it's fun to be virtuous with."
••
Getting older gives "Twist and Shout" a
whole new meaning.
whole new meaning.
••
British madam, bent on retiring, finally found
A 40 year old Aussi man that never slept with
a woman. On their honeymoon, after
freshen up, she saw he moved all the
furniture to the walls.
She asked "What gives with this?".
Well if you are anything like a kangaroo,
we need all the space we can get.
A 40 year old Aussi man that never slept with
a woman. On their honeymoon, after
freshen up, she saw he moved all the
furniture to the walls.
She asked "What gives with this?".
Well if you are anything like a kangaroo,
we need all the space we can get.
••
News headlines......
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts
Fire..
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide..
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge.
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board.
Deer Kill 17,000.
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni.
War Dims Hope for Peace.
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts
Fire..
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide..
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge.
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board.
Deer Kill 17,000.
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni.
War Dims Hope for Peace.
••
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing . . . ? You've been studying our
marriage certificate for quite some time.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing . . . ? You've been studying our
marriage certificate for quite some time.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
••
I got pulled over by a bicycle cop in L.A. --
not a motorcycle cop, a bicycle cop.
And Im in my car, and he gets out --
hes sweating, hes got these little shorts on.
You know how fast you were going?
Yeah, a lot faster than that bike.
I got pulled over by a bicycle cop in L.A. --
not a motorcycle cop, a bicycle cop.
And Im in my car, and he gets out --
hes sweating, hes got these little shorts on.
You know how fast you were going?
Yeah, a lot faster than that bike.
••••
