Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

Michelle Obama’s 50th birthday party
supposedly went all the way until 2 a.m. on
Saturday.
Which explains why on Sunday, Barack
expanded healthcare to include Gatorade and
Tylenol.

 

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Photos surfaced of Justin Bieber smoking weed.
Fans of Justin Bieber are shocked...
fans of Marijuana are embarrassed.

 

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Apparently studies have shown smoking weed..
causes short term memory loss......
Well, of all the nerve..
Next they will be saying that smoking weed
causes short term memory loss.....

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Swedish Text Message:
OLE TEXTS LENA………....
“Lena, I’m having 1 more beer with Sven.”
“If I’m not home in 1 hour .... read this message
again.”

 

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Q: How did Captain Hook die?
A: Jock itch.

 

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The limousine was taking the beautiful
raven-haired model to the airport.
Halfway there, the front tire went flat. 
The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to
wait for road service. 
Can you change it yourself?" 
The driver said, "Sure." 
He got out of the car and proceeded to
change the tire, but couldn't get the wheel
cover off. 
The model saw him struggling and asked,
"Do you want a screwdriver?" 
He said "Sure!
But, first I have to change this tire."

 

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Read this in a classified ad:
"Vacation special: Have your home
exterminated...... Get rid of aunts."

 

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When I was young..
I was scared of the dark.
Now I am old and when I look at my electricity
bill, I am scared of the lights.

 

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You know it was some good pot when..
you're eating cereal naked and your girlfriend
says, 'Put your clothes on,' and then you realize
it's not your girlfriend......
it's some woman on a bus.

 

••

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like
most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
'I like your sense of humor!'
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