••
♥
It was so cold, the town flasher ran up and
described himself......
described himself......
••
When you're picking out your Christmas tree,
don't make the mistake I made.
Don't even talk about the three-year warranty.
Forget that.
They're just trying to make money.
don't make the mistake I made.
Don't even talk about the three-year warranty.
Forget that.
They're just trying to make money.
••
Personally I think one of the greatest things
about marriage is that as both husband and
Father, I can say anything I want to around the
house.
Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
about marriage is that as both husband and
Father, I can say anything I want to around the
house.
Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
••
It seems that personal information on nearly
40 million Target customers was stolen this
week by hackers.
Target customers are outraged and the NSA is
really impressed.
40 million Target customers was stolen this
week by hackers.
Target customers are outraged and the NSA is
really impressed.
••
Last night in bed my wife asked me what I
would most like to do with her body.
Identify it was probably the wrong answer.
would most like to do with her body.
Identify it was probably the wrong answer.
••
A man was suffering from insomnia and went
to see a doctor.
After a thorough checkup, the doctor declared,
“The only remedy for this suffering is not to
take tension with you when you go to bed.”
Patient replies, “That’s exactly what I have been
telling my wife.
But she is not prepared to use the guest room.”
to see a doctor.
After a thorough checkup, the doctor declared,
“The only remedy for this suffering is not to
take tension with you when you go to bed.”
Patient replies, “That’s exactly what I have been
telling my wife.
But she is not prepared to use the guest room.”
••
I'd locked myself out of my car.
I watched the locksmith work with that wire that
slides under the window and then pushes up the
lock.
I asked him, 'that goes under the window, huh?
What do you do if the window is down?'
I swear, sometimes I embarrass myself.
I watched the locksmith work with that wire that
slides under the window and then pushes up the
lock.
I asked him, 'that goes under the window, huh?
What do you do if the window is down?'
I swear, sometimes I embarrass myself.
••
A new report says that members of Congress
work harder than the average American.
You know why?
That's because thanks to Congress the average
American is out of work.
work harder than the average American.
You know why?
That's because thanks to Congress the average
American is out of work.
••
Whatever happened to Amy Vanderbilt?
I'm trying to find out if it's bad etiquette to allow
your new girlfriend to ride in the family car at
your wife's funeral.
I'm trying to find out if it's bad etiquette to allow
your new girlfriend to ride in the family car at
your wife's funeral.
••••
