••
♥
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning
to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams
to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams
••
Lynn said;
When my husband and I were living in Memphis
we ordered Duck Breast from the local 5 star
restaurant.
I like my duck cooked rare, so I inquired, 'would
that be rare duck?'
The waiter replied, 'No, it's just a regular old
duck -- local..... I think.'
When my husband and I were living in Memphis
we ordered Duck Breast from the local 5 star
restaurant.
I like my duck cooked rare, so I inquired, 'would
that be rare duck?'
The waiter replied, 'No, it's just a regular old
duck -- local..... I think.'
••
I'm lying in bed andI'm really embarrassed
about the moaning coming from my parents
room.
It sounds like my dad's forgotten to wash the
dishes.
about the moaning coming from my parents
room.
It sounds like my dad's forgotten to wash the
dishes.
••
The chemical formula for the highly toxic
cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
••
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he
had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris....
had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris....
••
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa
asked the usual,
"And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and
horrified for a minute, then gasped:
"Didn't you get my E-mail?"
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa
asked the usual,
"And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and
horrified for a minute, then gasped:
"Didn't you get my E-mail?"
••
My wife and I were watching some TV show the
other nite where the wife hired a private detective
to follow her husband and see if he were in fact
"cheating" on her.
I asked my wife if she would ever do that.
She said, "Well not so much to find out who the
other woman was, but to see if I could find out
what she saw in ya."
other nite where the wife hired a private detective
to follow her husband and see if he were in fact
"cheating" on her.
I asked my wife if she would ever do that.
She said, "Well not so much to find out who the
other woman was, but to see if I could find out
what she saw in ya."
••
The R-ville, Va, City Council enacted a ban on
nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone
detonating one within city limits.
nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone
detonating one within city limits.
••
Why did the Polish couple decide to only have
four children?
Because they heard that 1 in every 5 babies born
is Chinese.
four children?
Because they heard that 1 in every 5 babies born
is Chinese.
••
An applicant was filling out a job application.
When he came to the question, "Have you ever
been arrested?" he wrote, "No."
The next question, intended for people who
had answered in the affirmative to the previous
question, was "Why?"
The applicant answered it anyway:
"Never got caught."
When he came to the question, "Have you ever
been arrested?" he wrote, "No."
The next question, intended for people who
had answered in the affirmative to the previous
question, was "Why?"
The applicant answered it anyway:
"Never got caught."
••
When two service station attendants in Ionia,
Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an
intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call
the police.
They still refused, so the robber called the police
and was arrested.
Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an
intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call
the police.
They still refused, so the robber called the police
and was arrested.
••••
