••
♥
How bad is the economy?
The voices in my head are replaced from midnight-6am with various infomercials.
••
Most of us old enough to remember partying
like it was 1999 are now dealing with acid reflux and herniated disks.
••
A relationship without trust is like
having a phone with no service. And what do you do with a phone with no
service?
You play games.
••
Atlanta Coca-Cola is fixing an embarrassing
typo in the word "disk" in copyright information on about 2 million 12-packs of the
drink.
In the misprint, the "s" is replaced by a "c."
Normally, the small type under the copyright
information states that the "red disk icon and
contour bottle are trademarks of the Coca-Cola
Co."
••
The man walked past the armored car and
hears people talking inside. He stepped closer to hear what they were saying:
"I see you, and I'll raise you another sixty
thousand."
••
Police in Chicago Removing 911 From Their
Cars There were too many thugs trying to steal them,
thinking they were Porsche 911's.
••
When a girl says "we need to talk" it's
never about football...
••
How many Government Officials does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty, one to change the light bulb and 49 to
carry out a fact finding mission to Barbados to
see how they change light bulbs there.
••
Girl hiker: “I placed an ad in our local paper
under a box number for a male partner to accompany me to a fortnight’s hiking trip.”
Second hiker: “Interesting. Did you get any
replies?”
First hiker: “Hundreds, but there was a terrible
row over it at our house.”
Second hiker: “How come?”
First hiker: “Father was one of the applicants!”
••
Question: What's the penalty for bigamy?
Answer: Two mothers-in-law....
••
Michelle Obama planted a garden to show how
easy it is to grow your own food. All you need is water, sunlight, and 50 full-time
federal employees.
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