••
♥
The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but
every time he got ready to proceed, the patient
clamped his jaws.
At last, he took his assistant aside and told her
at the very moment he poised the forceps, to
give the patient's balls a vicious pinch.
The pinch was administered, the nervous
patient's mouth flew open,and the tooth was
easily removed.
"Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist.
"Not too much," replied the patient, "but who
would have thought the root went that deep!
every time he got ready to proceed, the patient
clamped his jaws.
At last, he took his assistant aside and told her
at the very moment he poised the forceps, to
give the patient's balls a vicious pinch.
The pinch was administered, the nervous
patient's mouth flew open,and the tooth was
easily removed.
"Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist.
"Not too much," replied the patient, "but who
would have thought the root went that deep!
••
David hurried into the elevator of a posh hotel
and shouted, "Ballroom please!"
A smartly dressed lady standing in front of him
turned to him and said, "Sorry, we didn't
realize we were crowding you."
and shouted, "Ballroom please!"
A smartly dressed lady standing in front of him
turned to him and said, "Sorry, we didn't
realize we were crowding you."
••
It is quite common during the first clinical year
for med students to suddenly "pass out" from
standing bedside too long.
I remember one of these sessions where the
patient was an English tourist visiting Malaysia,
and ended up sick in my hospital.
We were all gathered in the patient's room and
the clinician went on and on and on.
The patient was clearly waiting for something
to happen.
Finally the clinician asked for a volunteer to do
a basic physical on the young man.
The next thing we knew, one of the junior med
students had fainted, and landed face down
onto the patient's crotch.
He must be one impressed tourist.
for med students to suddenly "pass out" from
standing bedside too long.
I remember one of these sessions where the
patient was an English tourist visiting Malaysia,
and ended up sick in my hospital.
We were all gathered in the patient's room and
the clinician went on and on and on.
The patient was clearly waiting for something
to happen.
Finally the clinician asked for a volunteer to do
a basic physical on the young man.
The next thing we knew, one of the junior med
students had fainted, and landed face down
onto the patient's crotch.
He must be one impressed tourist.
••
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy:
"So your mother says your prayers for you each
night?
Very commendable.
What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
"So your mother says your prayers for you each
night?
Very commendable.
What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
••
Tombstone Epitaph:
Here lies a nun, she lived to the age of one
hundred and ten....
She gave to the worms what she refused to men..
Here lies a nun, she lived to the age of one
hundred and ten....
She gave to the worms what she refused to men..
••
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his
first-grade teacher about the baby brother or
sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the
movements of the unborn child.
The six-year old was obviously impressed, but
made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher
about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and
said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that
baby brother or sister you were expecting at
home?”
Tommy burst into tears and confessed,
“I think Mommy ate it!”
first-grade teacher about the baby brother or
sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the
movements of the unborn child.
The six-year old was obviously impressed, but
made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher
about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and
said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that
baby brother or sister you were expecting at
home?”
Tommy burst into tears and confessed,
“I think Mommy ate it!”
••
How does a snowman pick his nose?
In the produce section of a grocery store.
What were you thinking?
In the produce section of a grocery store.
What were you thinking?
••
Did you hear about the Polish admiral who died
and wanted to be buried at sea?
Five sailors died digging his grave.
and wanted to be buried at sea?
Five sailors died digging his grave.
••
Did you hear about the Polish man who locked
his keys in his car?
He had to use a coat hanger to get his family
out.
his keys in his car?
He had to use a coat hanger to get his family
out.
••••
