#2210

••

 

••

♥

 

Two economists are walking down the street
when ones sees a hundred dollar bill and points
it out to his friend.
"Is that a $100 bill lying in the gutter?"
"No" his friend replies "If it were a $100 bill,
someone would have picked it up already"
So they walk on by.....

••
My neighbor works in the operations
department in the central office of a large bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman in one of
the branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my
terminal.
Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

 

••

What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little girl?
"Hey, little girl, you want to buy some candy?"

 

••

I told a friend at the coffee shop that I need to
go hunting more because my freezer is almost
empty.
B.J.was eavesdropping and suddenly said
"I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food,
I don't even know where sandwiches live!"

 

••

First cave man to 2nd cave man: "I don't care
what you say.
We never had such unusual weather before they
started using bows and arrows."

 

••

I hate it when my girlfriend is vaccuuming up
and she makes me lift my feet up.
I always feel like I'm going to fall down the
toilet.

 

••

An overweight colleague of mine decided it was
time to shed some excess pounds.
He took his new diet seriously, even changing
his driving route to avoid his.
One morning, however, he arrived at work
carrying a gigantic coffeecake.
We all scolded him, but his smile remained
cherubic.
"This is a very special coffeecake," he explained.
"I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning
and there in the window were a host of goodies.
 I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord,
if you want me to have one of those delicious
coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly
in front of the bakery.'
"And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth
time around the block, there it was!"

 

••

Mom," said Jeffrey, "can I go over to Little
Johnny's house and watch the magic show?"
"What are you talking about, dear?" asked his
mother.
"She must be really good 'cause Johnny heard
his mom tell her friend that she got $600 for
doing six tricks....

•• 
Rachel's blonde roommate had to make an
emergency phone call to home and her pre-paid
calling card had expired.
"I suggested she call collect. 
She picked up the phone, looked at me
bewildered, and asked, 'What's the number to
1-800-COLLECT?'"

 

••••