••
♥
Laborer Alexander Robinson of Mobile,
Alabama, redefined the limits of tactlessness
when he opened his eyes after surgery to
restore his sight and said agreeably to his wife:
'Boy, you sure have got fat in four years.'
Laborer Alexander Robinson of Mobile,
Alabama, redefined the limits of tactlessness
when he opened his eyes after surgery to
restore his sight and said agreeably to his wife:
'Boy, you sure have got fat in four years.'
••
When his .38-calibre revolver failed to fire at
its intended victim during a hold-up in Long
Beach, California, robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder:
he peered down the barreland tried the
trigger again.
Happily for most concerned, this time it
worked.
its intended victim during a hold-up in Long
Beach, California, robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder:
he peered down the barreland tried the
trigger again.
Happily for most concerned, this time it
worked.
••
Barbara said: Men are like animals: messy,
insensitive and potentially violent, but they
make great pets.
insensitive and potentially violent, but they
make great pets.
••
Did you hear about the fire in the newfe's
library?
Both the books got burned, and one hadn't
even been coloured in yet.
library?
Both the books got burned, and one hadn't
even been coloured in yet.
••
Husband: "You know, I was a fool when I
married you."
Wife: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice."
married you."
Wife: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice."
••
There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or at least so I thought,
Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and began losing air.
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or at least so I thought,
Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and began losing air.
••
Amy, a city girl, marries a farmer.
One morning, before he goes out to the fields,
the farmer says to her, "The artificial
insemination man is coming to impregnate
one of our cows today.
I drove a big nail into the two-by-four over
the cow's stall.
You show him where it is."
The farmer leaves, and a while later, the
artificial insemination man arrives.
Amy takes him down the rows of cows until
she sees the nail.
She says, "This is the one, right here."
The man asks, "How do you know?"
Amy says, "By the nail over its stall."
The man asks, "What's the nail for?"
Amy says, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
One morning, before he goes out to the fields,
the farmer says to her, "The artificial
insemination man is coming to impregnate
one of our cows today.
I drove a big nail into the two-by-four over
the cow's stall.
You show him where it is."
The farmer leaves, and a while later, the
artificial insemination man arrives.
Amy takes him down the rows of cows until
she sees the nail.
She says, "This is the one, right here."
The man asks, "How do you know?"
Amy says, "By the nail over its stall."
The man asks, "What's the nail for?"
Amy says, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
••
A three-year-old little boy was examining his
testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom," he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.....
testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom," he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.....
••
I have a new girlfriend.....well....she's USED,
but, she's "NEW" to ME.
I have a new girlfriend.....well....she's USED,
but, she's "NEW" to ME.
••
Two elephants named Harry and Fay
Could not kiss with their trunks in the way.
So they boarded a plane,
They're now kissing in Maine,
Because their trunks got sent to L.A.
Could not kiss with their trunks in the way.
So they boarded a plane,
They're now kissing in Maine,
Because their trunks got sent to L.A.
••
A butler with no teeth is called an
in-dentured servant.
in-dentured servant.
••••
