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BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING -
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
••
I went to a jewelry store with my wife last week.
I needed my watch fixed.
The sign in the store window said "Watch
Batteries installed: $5.00"
"Sounds good to me."
I said, "lets go inside"
"Ok" replied my wife, "But I dont understand
why you'd want to pay five dollars to watch
somebody install batteries.."
Yeah, she's blonde.....
I needed my watch fixed.
The sign in the store window said "Watch
Batteries installed: $5.00"
"Sounds good to me."
I said, "lets go inside"
"Ok" replied my wife, "But I dont understand
why you'd want to pay five dollars to watch
somebody install batteries.."
Yeah, she's blonde.....
••
Waking up after a restless night, the wife turned
to her husband and frowned.
"I can't believe it!
All night long you kept cursing me in your sleep!"
The husband replied, "Who was sleeping?"
Then the fight started, he found himself on the
floor, where he has been sleeping nightly since.
to her husband and frowned.
"I can't believe it!
All night long you kept cursing me in your sleep!"
The husband replied, "Who was sleeping?"
Then the fight started, he found himself on the
floor, where he has been sleeping nightly since.
••
NORDIC TRACK $300 - HARDLY USED -
CALL CHUBBIE at:
CALL CHUBBIE at:
••
I went to Kmart to get some of them boxers that
played "Jingle Bells"....for the life of me, I
couldn't make them work......people were
starting to stare, so I just left.
The boxers could have been defective, but I
believe it's false advertising...
played "Jingle Bells"....for the life of me, I
couldn't make them work......people were
starting to stare, so I just left.
The boxers could have been defective, but I
believe it's false advertising...
••
I had reservations at the best resturant in town.
I arrived at seven, right on time.
"Excuse me, is my table ready yet?"
The hostess was very busy as the resturant was
full to capacity.
"Not yet sir, would you mind waiting?"
"I dont mind at all."
"Ok", she continued "Take these salads over to
table six."
I arrived at seven, right on time.
"Excuse me, is my table ready yet?"
The hostess was very busy as the resturant was
full to capacity.
"Not yet sir, would you mind waiting?"
"I dont mind at all."
"Ok", she continued "Take these salads over to
table six."
••
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is
indicated.
You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
indicated.
You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
••
Jany was reading a story from a book to her
daughter.
The daughter interrupted: “Mom, why does
every story start with ‘Once upon a time’?
Isn’t there any other line?”
Mom: “Sure there is.
There's another line which begins like ‘Dear,
there is a meeting in the office and I will be late.....'
daughter.
The daughter interrupted: “Mom, why does
every story start with ‘Once upon a time’?
Isn’t there any other line?”
Mom: “Sure there is.
There's another line which begins like ‘Dear,
there is a meeting in the office and I will be late.....'
••
My Wife is VERY naive.
Last month I came home pretty drunk.
I decided it was a good idea to tell my wife that
my secretary and I have been having an affair
for almost a full year now.
I walked in the front door and said, "I have
something very important to tell you.
I'm having an affair!"
She looked at me and smiled ...then said,
'Oh Wonderful!..... Who is the Caterer?"
so I got out of that one.
Last month I came home pretty drunk.
I decided it was a good idea to tell my wife that
my secretary and I have been having an affair
for almost a full year now.
I walked in the front door and said, "I have
something very important to tell you.
I'm having an affair!"
She looked at me and smiled ...then said,
'Oh Wonderful!..... Who is the Caterer?"
so I got out of that one.
••
Damn kid... Swallowed my memory card for
my phone.
All the way to the ER the kid would open its
mouth and I'd hear a different MP3.
I gotta get it out before he gets to the porn
videos...
my phone.
All the way to the ER the kid would open its
mouth and I'd hear a different MP3.
I gotta get it out before he gets to the porn
videos...
••
My friend is really into trains.
He travels the US taking pictures of trains such
as Norfolk-Southern pulling long line rail loads.
He is totally into that nonsense.
Knows all the EMD engine types, rail yards.
He gets totally excited when you mention a train.
He's what is referred to as a 'TRAINSEXUAL'
He travels the US taking pictures of trains such
as Norfolk-Southern pulling long line rail loads.
He is totally into that nonsense.
Knows all the EMD engine types, rail yards.
He gets totally excited when you mention a train.
He's what is referred to as a 'TRAINSEXUAL'
••
Alcoholism is officially a 'Disease'....
But....it's the only disease you get yelled at for
having.
Alcoholism is officially a 'Disease'....
But....it's the only disease you get yelled at for
having.
••••
