#2200

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Why is Christmas like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit
gets all the credit.

 

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I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey,
but I turned myself around.

 

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A carpet layer had just finished installing
carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd
lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet,
was a bump.
"No sense pulling up the entire floor for one
pack of smokes," he said to himself.
He proceeded to get out his hammer and
flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
"Here," she said, handing him his pack of
cigarettes.
"I found them in the hallway."
"Now," she said, "if only I could find my gerbil."

 

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Becoming a garbage man isn't hard....
you just pick it up as you go along.

 

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One fine morning Dean came early into the
office and caught his subordinate,  Martin
kissing his secretary.
Angered, Dean screamed: “Martin, do I pay you
good salary for doing this?”
Martin: “No sir, I am doing this for free.”

 

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The president of the service club asked his new
member, "Would you like to donate something to
the home for the aged?"
The new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."

 

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Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . .
I am 300 miles from land . . .
600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . .
please instruct!
Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot . . .
repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in
heaven . . ."

 

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Why shouldn't you wear Russian underwear?
Because Chernobyl fall-out.

 

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The worst thing about being a test tube baby
has to be that you know for sure your dad's a
wanker....

 

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