••
♥
When we are planning for posterity, we ought
to remember that virtue is not hereditary.
- Thomas Paine
to remember that virtue is not hereditary.
- Thomas Paine
••
My wife and I were watching a show on The
Learning Channel titled, "A Dog's World."
One segment focused on dogs practice of
urinating everywhere to define who they are
and whose territory it is, among many other
things.
"Basically," the narrator said, "dogs are
leaving each other messages."
I looked at my wife and said, "So I guess we
could call it p-mail."
Learning Channel titled, "A Dog's World."
One segment focused on dogs practice of
urinating everywhere to define who they are
and whose territory it is, among many other
things.
"Basically," the narrator said, "dogs are
leaving each other messages."
I looked at my wife and said, "So I guess we
could call it p-mail."
••
Having a really hard time searching for
articles about dementia on Youbook and
Facetube.
articles about dementia on Youbook and
Facetube.
••
I am writing this from the hospital.
Don't worry the doc said I will be fine,
but I must warn you - The Dyson Ball cleaner
has a very misleading name.
Don't worry the doc said I will be fine,
but I must warn you - The Dyson Ball cleaner
has a very misleading name.
••
I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and
soy gravy.
And its not to say that Thanksgiving will ever
justify the genocide of the Native Americans.
But vegan Thanksgiving -- thats just spitting on
the graves, isnt it?
soy gravy.
And its not to say that Thanksgiving will ever
justify the genocide of the Native Americans.
But vegan Thanksgiving -- thats just spitting on
the graves, isnt it?
••
American scientists have managed to revive a
caveman who was frozen for thousands of
years.
Communications so far have consisted of
monosyllabic grunts, but the caveman is
confident he can teach them some words.
caveman who was frozen for thousands of
years.
Communications so far have consisted of
monosyllabic grunts, but the caveman is
confident he can teach them some words.
••
The poor country pastor was livid when he
confronted his wife with the receipt for a
$250 dress she had bought.
"How could you do this!" he exclaimed.
"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in
the store looking at the dress.
Then I found myself trying it on.
It was like the Devil was whispering to me,
'Gee, you look great in that dress.
You should buy it.'"
"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to
deal with him!.... Just tell him, "Get behind me,
Satan!"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "
It looks great from back here, too!"
confronted his wife with the receipt for a
$250 dress she had bought.
"How could you do this!" he exclaimed.
"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in
the store looking at the dress.
Then I found myself trying it on.
It was like the Devil was whispering to me,
'Gee, you look great in that dress.
You should buy it.'"
"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to
deal with him!.... Just tell him, "Get behind me,
Satan!"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "
It looks great from back here, too!"
••
My wife said she's tired of my filthy mouth
and didn't want me making any sexual
innuendos at her office party.
But I slipped one in.
and didn't want me making any sexual
innuendos at her office party.
But I slipped one in.
••
When the waitress in a New York City
restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the
Englishman was a bit dismayed.
"Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.
"I don't care where it's been," he replied.
"What is it now?"
restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the
Englishman was a bit dismayed.
"Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.
"I don't care where it's been," he replied.
"What is it now?"
••
Great news! I got a job in a call center.
However, I'm not sure if I like the commute.
India is pretty far away.
However, I'm not sure if I like the commute.
India is pretty far away.
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