♣♣
♥
One of my friends was dating a blonde girl that
wasn't too bright to say the least.
Often she would come up with the most stupid
comments that at first got us all laughing, but
after a while also became a bit annoying to
some.
One day we were sitting in a pool hall talking.
The blonde participated in the discussion, and
when she came up with an even unusually
stupid comment one of my friends couldn't
take it anymore.
So he said to her "You must have vacuum in
your head".
This upset her.
She looked at him for a couple of seconds and
replied, "At least it's better than nothing".
wasn't too bright to say the least.
Often she would come up with the most stupid
comments that at first got us all laughing, but
after a while also became a bit annoying to
some.
One day we were sitting in a pool hall talking.
The blonde participated in the discussion, and
when she came up with an even unusually
stupid comment one of my friends couldn't
take it anymore.
So he said to her "You must have vacuum in
your head".
This upset her.
She looked at him for a couple of seconds and
replied, "At least it's better than nothing".
♣♣
You know you had an awesome night when you
need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
♣♣
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dumbasski,
We regret to inform you that we have declined
jimmy's application for medical school.
Based upon his questions of us, e.g.
"What semester will I see naked girls?" and
"Will I get to touch a booby?", we feel his
maturity level has not reached our minimum
admission standards.
If you like, we could help him learn to drive a
cab or something.
Yours truly,
Dean, State University....
We regret to inform you that we have declined
jimmy's application for medical school.
Based upon his questions of us, e.g.
"What semester will I see naked girls?" and
"Will I get to touch a booby?", we feel his
maturity level has not reached our minimum
admission standards.
If you like, we could help him learn to drive a
cab or something.
Yours truly,
Dean, State University....
♣♣
They now have an Italian airline that flies out
of Genoa.
It's called Genitalia.
of Genoa.
It's called Genitalia.
♣♣
SIGN AT DENNY'S RESTAURANT:
"Denny's is pleased to welcome persons of
every ethnicity.
Our booths are now color-coded by race so that
our valued
Black and Mexican patrons will know where to
sit."
"Denny's is pleased to welcome persons of
every ethnicity.
Our booths are now color-coded by race so that
our valued
Black and Mexican patrons will know where to
sit."
♣♣
My 86-year-old Grandad's always got a song in
his heart.
Somehow his pacemaker picks up Radio 2.
his heart.
Somehow his pacemaker picks up Radio 2.
♣♣
Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found...
it necessary to hire a private investigator -
Alan Pinkerton - for protection.
That was the beginning of the Secret Service.
Since that time, the federal government has
produced a large number of multi-letter
agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA,
BATF, etc.
Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation
Airport Security Service".
I can see them now, these highly trained men
and women in their black outfits with jackets
saying across the backs: "F.A.T.A.S.S."
it necessary to hire a private investigator -
Alan Pinkerton - for protection.
That was the beginning of the Secret Service.
Since that time, the federal government has
produced a large number of multi-letter
agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA,
BATF, etc.
Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation
Airport Security Service".
I can see them now, these highly trained men
and women in their black outfits with jackets
saying across the backs: "F.A.T.A.S.S."
♣♣
A little boy went to the store with his
grandmother and on the way home, he was
looking at the things she had purchased.
He found a package of panty hose and began to
sound out the words "Queen Size".
He then turned to his grandmother and
exclaimed,
"Look Grandma, you wear the same size as our
bed."
grandmother and on the way home, he was
looking at the things she had purchased.
He found a package of panty hose and began to
sound out the words "Queen Size".
He then turned to his grandmother and
exclaimed,
"Look Grandma, you wear the same size as our
bed."
♣♣
On our last vacation, my wife and I saved some
money by staying in a cheap hotel.
Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the
sounds of mattress springs and a banging
headboard from the next room.
At first we were amused by the amorous couple.
After five minutes it had lost its charm.
After ten minutes we were getting pretty annoyed,
in that it was keeping us awake.
After fifteen minutes, we were just plain ticked
off.
After half an hour we were pretty damned
impressed.
money by staying in a cheap hotel.
Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the
sounds of mattress springs and a banging
headboard from the next room.
At first we were amused by the amorous couple.
After five minutes it had lost its charm.
After ten minutes we were getting pretty annoyed,
in that it was keeping us awake.
After fifteen minutes, we were just plain ticked
off.
After half an hour we were pretty damned
impressed.
♣♣♣♣
