The Tooth fairy...??
"Just singing in the rain"..
••
♥
My wife knows how to make my long stories
short --
She interrupts.....
short --
She interrupts.....
••
There was a young singer named Springer,
Got his testicles caught in a wringer.
He hollered in pain
As they rolled down the drain,
(falsetto): "There goes my career as a singer!"
Got his testicles caught in a wringer.
He hollered in pain
As they rolled down the drain,
(falsetto): "There goes my career as a singer!"
••
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training
supervisor and a young trainee, were out
checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.
They parked their truck the end of the alley and
worked their way to the other end.
At the last house a woman looking out her
kitchen window watched the two men as they
checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor
challenged his younger coworker to a foot race
down the alley back to the truck to prove that
an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they
realized the lady from that last house was
huffing and puffing right behind them.
They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see
two gas men running as hard as you two were,
I figured I'd better run too!"
supervisor and a young trainee, were out
checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.
They parked their truck the end of the alley and
worked their way to the other end.
At the last house a woman looking out her
kitchen window watched the two men as they
checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor
challenged his younger coworker to a foot race
down the alley back to the truck to prove that
an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they
realized the lady from that last house was
huffing and puffing right behind them.
They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see
two gas men running as hard as you two were,
I figured I'd better run too!"
••
Jan says to her doctor: "My husband has a
habit of talking in his sleep!
What should I give him to cure it?"
The doctor replies: "Give him the opportunity
to speak while he's awake!"
habit of talking in his sleep!
What should I give him to cure it?"
The doctor replies: "Give him the opportunity
to speak while he's awake!"
••
There are three kinds of men in this world.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what
happened!
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what
happened!
••
There once was a girl from Anheuser,
Who said no man could suprise her,
But Pabst took a chance,
Found a Schlitz down her pants,
And now he is sadder Budweiser.
Who said no man could suprise her,
But Pabst took a chance,
Found a Schlitz down her pants,
And now he is sadder Budweiser.
••
The Wednesday-night church service coincided
with the last day of hunting season.
Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer.
No one raised a hand.
Puzzled, the pastor said, "I dont get it.
Last Sunday many of you said you were were
unable to make service because of hunting
season.
I had the whole congregation pray for your deer.
"One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked.
They're all safe."
with the last day of hunting season.
Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer.
No one raised a hand.
Puzzled, the pastor said, "I dont get it.
Last Sunday many of you said you were were
unable to make service because of hunting
season.
I had the whole congregation pray for your deer.
"One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked.
They're all safe."
••
The internet is an amazing thing,
One minute I'm at work looking up random
pages passing the time.
The next minute I'm at home looking for a
new job.
One minute I'm at work looking up random
pages passing the time.
The next minute I'm at home looking for a
new job.
••
"We'd like a room, please," the bloke said,
nodding toward his misses.
"We were married this morning."
"Congratulations," the desk clerk said,
"how about the bridal?"
"No thanks, just a room.
I'll hold her by the ears until she gets the hang
of it."
"We'd like a room, please," the bloke said,
nodding toward his misses.
"We were married this morning."
"Congratulations," the desk clerk said,
"how about the bridal?"
"No thanks, just a room.
I'll hold her by the ears until she gets the hang
of it."
••
My girlfriend said that onions are the only food
that can make you cry.
Just to prove her wrong I went to the market,
came back with a frozen chicken and hit her in
the face with it.
I win.
that can make you cry.
Just to prove her wrong I went to the market,
came back with a frozen chicken and hit her in
the face with it.
I win.
••••
