••
♥
On a recent flight an elderly passenger kept
peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was
the blinking wing-tip light.
Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think
you should inform the pilot that his left-turn
indicator is on and has been for some time."
peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was
the blinking wing-tip light.
Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think
you should inform the pilot that his left-turn
indicator is on and has been for some time."
••
A reporter is doing a story on hillbillies.
He comes to this run down shack in a remote
area and is talking to the hillbilly on the front
porch.
"I got me three sons," says the hillbilly, "one,
he's in jail; one got put in the insane asyllum;
and one's at Harvard."
"That's amazing," says the reporter, "one son in
jail, one insane, and one at Harvard.
What's he studying?"
"Oh, he ain't a studying there, they're a studying
him."
He comes to this run down shack in a remote
area and is talking to the hillbilly on the front
porch.
"I got me three sons," says the hillbilly, "one,
he's in jail; one got put in the insane asyllum;
and one's at Harvard."
"That's amazing," says the reporter, "one son in
jail, one insane, and one at Harvard.
What's he studying?"
"Oh, he ain't a studying there, they're a studying
him."
••
Knock Knock....
Who's there?
Pyjamas!
Pyjamas who?
Pyjamas around me and hold me tight!
Who's there?
Pyjamas!
Pyjamas who?
Pyjamas around me and hold me tight!
••
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried........ Ever.
Too bad he has never cried........ Ever.
••
Justin: “Doctor, there was decay in my upper
tooth.
You said a worm was eating it away.
But you have pulled out my lower tooth.
Why?”
Doctor : “You are right.
Actually the worm was standing on your lower
tooth and doing the job.
Now it has no tooth to stand on.”
tooth.
You said a worm was eating it away.
But you have pulled out my lower tooth.
Why?”
Doctor : “You are right.
Actually the worm was standing on your lower
tooth and doing the job.
Now it has no tooth to stand on.”
••
What do you call a mushroom that goes into a
bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?
Fungi to be around!
bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?
Fungi to be around!
••
When a married man replies, "I'll think about it."
What he really means is that he hasn't asked
his wife for permission yet!
What he really means is that he hasn't asked
his wife for permission yet!
••
How about the two old men one a retired
professor of psychology and the other a retired
professor of history.
Their wives had talked them into a two week
stay at a hotel in the Catskills.
They were sitting around on the porch of the
hotel watching the sun set.
The history professor said to the psychology
professor, "Have you read Marx?"
To which the professor of psychology said,
"Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs."
professor of psychology and the other a retired
professor of history.
Their wives had talked them into a two week
stay at a hotel in the Catskills.
They were sitting around on the porch of the
hotel watching the sun set.
The history professor said to the psychology
professor, "Have you read Marx?"
To which the professor of psychology said,
"Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs."
••
When asked in class; Why do women live a
better, longer and a more peaceful life than men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied:
"Because women don't have wives!"
When asked in class; Why do women live a
better, longer and a more peaceful life than men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied:
"Because women don't have wives!"
••
THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE
A GOOD LOVER.....
"One of you should know how to write a check.
Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still
going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)
A GOOD LOVER.....
"One of you should know how to write a check.
Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still
going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)
••••
