Down Hummingbird Lane

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Now... where is that cat...

 

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Several women appeared in court, each accusing
the other of the trouble they were having in the
apartment building where they lived.
The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed,
"I'll hear the oldest first."
The case was closed for lack of evidence.

 

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I know it's depressing when you look at your
paycheck and you see how much tax you are
paying, but just remember, you're paying for
roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep
the nation free.
Unfortunately that nation is Afghanistan.

 

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Government spying on people they work for
 - security.
 People spying on government that work for
them - terrorists.

 

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My son came home from school looking all
excited.
"I got a B on my reading test," he told me.
"That's a  D," I replied.

 

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I am returning this otherwise good typing
paper to you because someone has printed
gibberish all over it and put your name at the
top  -- English Professor, Ohio University...

 

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Did you hear about the man who was jabbed in
the back with a set of keys?
His back locked up.

 

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A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill
station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you
were here."
The message received by wife:
"I wish you were her."

 

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Johnny had just returned from a birthday party.
His mother asked him: “I hope you did not ask for
another piece of cake, Dear.”
Johnny: “No, I just asked for the recipe, so you
could make some like it at home, and she gave me
two extra pieces of her own accord.”

 

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Two men met at a party.
One offers the other a cigarette.
“No thanks..... I tired it once, didn’t like it.”
“Beer?”
“No thanks...... Tried it once, didn’t like it.”
“Caviar?”
“No thanks....... Tried it once, didn’t like it.”
At that time his son came and whispered
something into his ear.
“Your only child, I presume?” 

 

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Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin
swimming pools have announced
they are closing lanes 7 and 8....

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