••
♥
Returning from her vacation, the young
secretary was telling anyone who would listen
about what a fun time she had.
She then asked for two weeks leave in which
to get married.
"But you just had two weeks off," said the
boss.
"Why didn't you get married then ?"
"What and ruin my vacation ?" she whined.
secretary was telling anyone who would listen
about what a fun time she had.
She then asked for two weeks leave in which
to get married.
"But you just had two weeks off," said the
boss.
"Why didn't you get married then ?"
"What and ruin my vacation ?" she whined.
••
Researchers say that peanut butter can
confirm the early stages of Alzheimer’s
disease.
Especially if it is being used as a hemorrhoid
cream.
confirm the early stages of Alzheimer’s
disease.
Especially if it is being used as a hemorrhoid
cream.
••
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over
when you start to go out with the boys on
Wednesday nites, and so does she.
when you start to go out with the boys on
Wednesday nites, and so does she.
••
Doctor, doctor: "My husband has a habit of
talking in his sleep! What should I give him to
cure it?"
Doctor: "Give him the opportunity to speak
while he's awake!"
talking in his sleep! What should I give him to
cure it?"
Doctor: "Give him the opportunity to speak
while he's awake!"
••
What a rip-off. I went into our local bookstore
and saw this huge display with a sign saying
"Newly translated from the original French:
37 mating positions."
Noticing that the books were already wrapped
in plain brown paper, I just hadda buy one.
Once safely at home I opened it, out of sight
of my wife, and found that I had just
purchased an expensive book about Chess.
and saw this huge display with a sign saying
"Newly translated from the original French:
37 mating positions."
Noticing that the books were already wrapped
in plain brown paper, I just hadda buy one.
Once safely at home I opened it, out of sight
of my wife, and found that I had just
purchased an expensive book about Chess.
••
Big sale at the Dollar store....
everything is 99 cent...
everything is 99 cent...
••
There is a new app that will help people that
are unsure if they are too drunk to drive home
by analyzing a urine sample.
The way the app works is if you are drunk
enough to be pissing on your smartphone,
then it's time to take a cab home, my friend.
There is a new app that will help people that
are unsure if they are too drunk to drive home
by analyzing a urine sample.
The way the app works is if you are drunk
enough to be pissing on your smartphone,
then it's time to take a cab home, my friend.
••
I went to the Doctor about a rash on my
stomach... turns out to be steering wheel burn.
stomach... turns out to be steering wheel burn.
••
A modest young girl named Ogla
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula
A cow ate the grass
Exposing her ass
Now she's no longer modest but coola...
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula
A cow ate the grass
Exposing her ass
Now she's no longer modest but coola...
••
Duct tape is like the Force.
It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
••••
