#2150

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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.

 

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Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a
building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette.
The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

 

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Nobody talks about sex in Scotland.
Scottish gynecologists dont even talk about sex.
Its just like: Get up on the table there,
Mrs. Henderson.
Lift up your skirt.
We'll take a look at your magic baby door.

 

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“The feather dancer was rushed to the hospital.
Her boa constricted her.”

 

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I took a Chit, and sprayed 'forrest' scented
air freshener to help with the embarrassing
smell.
Now it just smells like a bear took a Chit in the
woods.
Some days you just can't win.

 

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Dolphins are so intelligent, within hours they can
teach a man to stand at the edge of the pool and
throw them fish 3 times a day...

 

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Some beauty parlors do a great job.
One young man followed a young woman
for twenty blocks. Then he found out
it was his grandmother.

 

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How are women like pianos?
If they're not upright, they're grand.

 

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Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her
husband was engrossed in a magazine.
Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Listen to this," she said.
"There's a classified ad here where a guy is
offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to
the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up
from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me
for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said..... "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.

 

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'God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!',
the preacher bellowed.
I replied, 'But last week you told us we are all God's
children.
So who made Steve, then?'

 

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Why does a blonde only change her baby's
diapers once a month?
Because it says right on the box "good for up to
20 pounds."

 

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