••
♥
With the divorce rate so high in America, a new
organization has been formed called
"Marriage Anonymous."
Whenever a guy feels like getting married,
they send over a woman with crulers in her hair,
cream on her face and wearing a torn housecoat
to nag him out of it.
••
The N.S.A. leaker Edward Snowden today
reached out to the United States government,
offering to fix its troubled healthcare.gov Web
site in exchange for immunity from prosecution.
Speaking from an undisclosed location in
Russia, Mr. Snowden said he hacked the Web
site over the weekend and thinks he is “pretty
sure what the problem is.”
reached out to the United States government,
offering to fix its troubled healthcare.gov Web
site in exchange for immunity from prosecution.
Speaking from an undisclosed location in
Russia, Mr. Snowden said he hacked the Web
site over the weekend and thinks he is “pretty
sure what the problem is.”
••
"In the End, we will remember not the words of
our enemies, but the silence of our friends. "
- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
our enemies, but the silence of our friends. "
- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
••
I asked someone if they knew any good jokes
the other day and they just raised their hand
and pointed at me!
the other day and they just raised their hand
and pointed at me!
••
It was a bad idea to wear a nurses uniform for
my Halloween night out.
I got forced to do an eight hour shift at the
hospital after I brought my friend in with a
broken nose.
my Halloween night out.
I got forced to do an eight hour shift at the
hospital after I brought my friend in with a
broken nose.
••
Janny sez;
Men say they don't trust anything that bleeds
for 5 days and doesn't die.
Well, I don't trust anything with 2 heads and
only 1 brain!
Men say they don't trust anything that bleeds
for 5 days and doesn't die.
Well, I don't trust anything with 2 heads and
only 1 brain!
••
“Back in the days when the guillotine was first
used, people wondered, is this what we may
beheaded for in the future?”
used, people wondered, is this what we may
beheaded for in the future?”
••
My wife hasn't been feeling all that well lately.
Something she agreed with is eating her.
Something she agreed with is eating her.
••
A Baptist preacher went to visit Mr. Johnson,
a member of the community but not a church
member.
The preacher was intent on getting Mr. Johnson
to church, and invited him to come to services
Sunday morning.
It seems that this man was a producer of fine
peach brandy, and told the preacher that he
would attend his church if the pastor would
drink some of his brandy and admit doing so
in front of his congregation.
The preacher agreed and drank up.
Sunday morning the man visited the church.
The preacher recognized the man from the
pulpit and said: "I see Mr. Johnson is here with
us this morning.
I want to thank him publically for his hospitality
this week and especially for the peaches he gave
me and the spirit in which they were given."
a member of the community but not a church
member.
The preacher was intent on getting Mr. Johnson
to church, and invited him to come to services
Sunday morning.
It seems that this man was a producer of fine
peach brandy, and told the preacher that he
would attend his church if the pastor would
drink some of his brandy and admit doing so
in front of his congregation.
The preacher agreed and drank up.
Sunday morning the man visited the church.
The preacher recognized the man from the
pulpit and said: "I see Mr. Johnson is here with
us this morning.
I want to thank him publically for his hospitality
this week and especially for the peaches he gave
me and the spirit in which they were given."
••
What do you call a man with his right hand in
a sharks mouth?
Lefty.
a sharks mouth?
Lefty.
••••
