••
♥
Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic light in
their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls
up alongside of them.
"Hey, show us your t%ts, ye bloody penguins!"
shouts one of the drunks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister
Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we
are - show them your cross."
So Sister Immaculata rolls down her window
and shouts, "Screw off ye little fookin wankers,
before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother
Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?"
their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls
up alongside of them.
"Hey, show us your t%ts, ye bloody penguins!"
shouts one of the drunks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister
Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we
are - show them your cross."
So Sister Immaculata rolls down her window
and shouts, "Screw off ye little fookin wankers,
before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother
Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?"
••
The height of Hypochrisy
The Department of Agriculture is responsible
for the care of our national parks.
In Yosemite National park there is a sign that
reads:
"PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIAMALS
THEY WILL BECOME DEPENDANT
AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE
OF THEMSELVES"
The Department of Agriculture also administers
the food stamp program and has announced:
"We are pleased to say we now supply Food
Stamps to more people than ever before"
The Department of Agriculture is responsible
for the care of our national parks.
In Yosemite National park there is a sign that
reads:
"PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIAMALS
THEY WILL BECOME DEPENDANT
AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE
OF THEMSELVES"
The Department of Agriculture also administers
the food stamp program and has announced:
"We are pleased to say we now supply Food
Stamps to more people than ever before"
••
Warning there are several fake health care sites
made up to look like the gov. health care site..
So be extra carefull when clicking on any link..
So far the only way to tell the differance between
the fake sites and the real site is that the fake
sites are actualy up and working, where as the
gov site is not..
Warning there are several fake health care sites
made up to look like the gov. health care site..
So be extra carefull when clicking on any link..
So far the only way to tell the differance between
the fake sites and the real site is that the fake
sites are actualy up and working, where as the
gov site is not..
••
Dan is talking to his buddy Aaron over some
drinks at the local watering hole.
Dan says, "What kind of women wear clothes
that expose?"
Aaron, finishing his drink, replied, "Those who
do not trust the imaginative creativity of men!"
Dan is talking to his buddy Aaron over some
drinks at the local watering hole.
Dan says, "What kind of women wear clothes
that expose?"
Aaron, finishing his drink, replied, "Those who
do not trust the imaginative creativity of men!"
••
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised
never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.
never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.
••
A worried father confronted his daughter one
night.
"I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and
common and bloody stupid with it."
"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's
ever so clever, we've only been going out nine
weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used
to get once a month."
night.
"I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and
common and bloody stupid with it."
"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's
ever so clever, we've only been going out nine
weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used
to get once a month."
••
Starbucks announced they don't want customers
bringing guns into their stores.
Meanwhile, Dunkin' Donuts said there is nothing
you can bring in here that's more dangerous than
what we serve.
bringing guns into their stores.
Meanwhile, Dunkin' Donuts said there is nothing
you can bring in here that's more dangerous than
what we serve.
••
Kevin Trudeau, the king of infomercials, has been
sent to jail for fraud.
The judge sentenced him to 10 years.
But then he said, "Wait, there's more," and added
another five years.
sent to jail for fraud.
The judge sentenced him to 10 years.
But then he said, "Wait, there's more," and added
another five years.
••
A friend asked my wife if I was hard to please
She replied, "Don't know. Never tried."
She replied, "Don't know. Never tried."
••
A Japanese rancher told reporters in Tokyo in
July that he herds cattle by outfitting them with
pocket pagers (beepers), which he calls from
his portable phone.
After a week of training, the cows associate the
beeping with eating and hustle up for grub.
July that he herds cattle by outfitting them with
pocket pagers (beepers), which he calls from
his portable phone.
After a week of training, the cows associate the
beeping with eating and hustle up for grub.
••
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at
which one can die.
which one can die.
••••
