••
♥
Q: What do men and pantyhose have in
common?
A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the
crotch!
common?
A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the
crotch!
••
Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him
dancing naked in front of a tractor.
Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been
getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist
recommended I do something sexy to a tractor.
dancing naked in front of a tractor.
Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been
getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist
recommended I do something sexy to a tractor.
••
Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their
wife good-bye when they leave the house?
Of these same men 90% will kiss their house
good-bye when their wife leaves.
wife good-bye when they leave the house?
Of these same men 90% will kiss their house
good-bye when their wife leaves.
••
A businessman boarded a plane...
to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman
wearing the largest, most stunning diamond
ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it.
"This is the Klopman diamond," she said.
"It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that
goes with it."
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
"Mr. Klopman."
to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman
wearing the largest, most stunning diamond
ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it.
"This is the Klopman diamond," she said.
"It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that
goes with it."
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
"Mr. Klopman."
••
A few pickup lines.......
* If you're going to regret this in the morning,
we can sleep until the afternoon.
* Do you believe in love at first sight, or should
I walk by again?
* I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
* If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be
anything in it for me?
* Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
* I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
* I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath
away!
* Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather
have the money?
* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U
and I together.
* If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's,
you would be McGorgeous.
* If you're going to regret this in the morning,
we can sleep until the afternoon.
* Do you believe in love at first sight, or should
I walk by again?
* I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
* If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be
anything in it for me?
* Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
* I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
* I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath
away!
* Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather
have the money?
* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U
and I together.
* If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's,
you would be McGorgeous.
••
'LSD makes users lose weight...'
That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the
fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.
That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the
fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.
••
Son: Dad, why'd you name me Achilles?
He's from Greek mythology.
Dad: Well son, you broke through the Trojan
wall.
He's from Greek mythology.
Dad: Well son, you broke through the Trojan
wall.
••
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject.
It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to
study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to
study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
••
I got so drunk last night I don't know if I found
some keys or lost a car.
some keys or lost a car.
••••
