Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

A little girl had just finished her first week of
school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother.
"I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let
me talk!"

 

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One of my Favorite Headlines....
"Prostitutes Appeal to Pope"

 

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Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for
women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already
there.

 

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Iraqi Airlines, folded 9 months ago.
The CEO of the airline said the company could not
survive in a Market where everybody in the country
was on the no-fly list.

 

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I was enjoying a free bar at somebody's wake today,
when a guy came up to me and said, "How did you
know Sam?"
"Errrrr, Sam was my grandfather." I replied.
"Sam was your grandfather?" he asked.
"Yes," I smiled, sipping my double rum & coke,
"How did you know Sam?"
He said, "She was my niece."

 

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Man who scratches ass should not bite
fingernails.

 

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The Roslin lab in Scotland is scheduled for a
government budget cut.
"But that won't have much effect," says Michael
X. Ferraro.
"Once you've cloned sheep, it's not that difficult
to counterfeit money."

 

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The manager of a large office asked a new
employee to come into his office.
"What is your name?," was the first thing the
manager asked.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled.
"Look, I don't know what kind of a
namby-pamby place you worked at before, but
I don't call anyone by their first name!
It breeds familiarity and that leads to a
breakdown in authority," he said.
"I refer to my employees by their last name only
- Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all.
Now that we got that straight, what is your last
name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling.
My name is John Darling."
The manager said, "Okay, John, the next thing
I want to tell you..."

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Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon
burn out.

 

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I would like to thank my arms, for always being
by side.
My legs, for always supporting me, & my
fingers - because I can always count on them.

 

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