••
♥
I've been invited to a Halloween party this
weekend.
I've decided to go as a Muslim with a backpack.
doesn't come much scarier than that.
does it?
weekend.
I've decided to go as a Muslim with a backpack.
doesn't come much scarier than that.
does it?
••
Collie + Lhaso Apso: Collapso, a dog that folds
up for easy transport.
up for easy transport.
••
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50
people.
Then it blew up.
people.
Then it blew up.
••
The good people sleep much better at night than
the bad people.
Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking
hours much more.
the bad people.
Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking
hours much more.
••
What about the blond guy whose wife gave
birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was...
birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was...
••
A drunk finally arrives home but is fumbling
with his keys.
A passing policeman sees him and decides to
help.
“It’sh OK offisher, I live here.”
They finally managed to open the door.
“Shee dat? Dat’s my piano.”
They walk upstairs.
The policeman is trying his best to prevent the
drunk from falling over backwards.
“Dat’sh my bedroom.”
They open it and he enters.
“Dat’sh my wife.”
He points to another body in the bed.
“Shee him? Dat’sh me.”
with his keys.
A passing policeman sees him and decides to
help.
“It’sh OK offisher, I live here.”
They finally managed to open the door.
“Shee dat? Dat’s my piano.”
They walk upstairs.
The policeman is trying his best to prevent the
drunk from falling over backwards.
“Dat’sh my bedroom.”
They open it and he enters.
“Dat’sh my wife.”
He points to another body in the bed.
“Shee him? Dat’sh me.”
••
The last time there were sparks in my bedroom is
when I was watching porn under the electric
blanket.
The last time there were sparks in my bedroom is
when I was watching porn under the electric
blanket.
••
I went as a leaf blower for Hallowe'en.
At a party, one guy came in dressed as a leaf.
Needless to say, it was awkward.
At a party, one guy came in dressed as a leaf.
Needless to say, it was awkward.
••
What's the definition of AIDS?
Anally Injected Death Sentence.....
What's the definition of AIDS?
Anally Injected Death Sentence.....
••
“I suspected our new house guest was a terrorist.
He asked to sleep on a blow up mattress.”
He asked to sleep on a blow up mattress.”
••
Q: What is the difference between a single
40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old
man?
A: The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having
children and the man thinks often about dating
them.
40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old
man?
A: The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having
children and the man thinks often about dating
them.
••
Fishing season hasn't opened and B.J.
who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout
as a stranger approaches and asks: "Any luck?"
"Any luck? This is a wonderful spot.
I took 10 out of this stream yesterday," he boasts.
"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?"
asks the stranger.
"Nope."
"Well, meet the new game warden."
"Oh," gulped the fisherman.
"Well, do you know who I am?"
"Nope."
"Meet the biggest liar in the state."
who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout
as a stranger approaches and asks: "Any luck?"
"Any luck? This is a wonderful spot.
I took 10 out of this stream yesterday," he boasts.
"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?"
asks the stranger.
"Nope."
"Well, meet the new game warden."
"Oh," gulped the fisherman.
"Well, do you know who I am?"
"Nope."
"Meet the biggest liar in the state."
••••
