••
♥
If the NSA... had built the website for healthcare...
Americans would have been signed up before
they knew it...
••
I'm so broke that I go to KFC to lick other
peoples fingers!
peoples fingers!
••
Rubbermaid Inc. is recalling about 60,800
toboggans because they can break apart,
causing loss of control and injury.
They are sold under the brand name
*Way-Too-Flexible-Flyers*.
toboggans because they can break apart,
causing loss of control and injury.
They are sold under the brand name
*Way-Too-Flexible-Flyers*.
••
Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates will donate
$100 million to help immunize children in
developing countries against meningitis and
respiratory and diarrheal illnesses.
With the shot, however, the children will have
Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.0 installed in
them.
$100 million to help immunize children in
developing countries against meningitis and
respiratory and diarrheal illnesses.
With the shot, however, the children will have
Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.0 installed in
them.
••
“The origami artist won the court case because he
was good with paperwork.”
was good with paperwork.”
••
The problem with political jokes is they get
elected.
elected.
••
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar
and, after staring for some time at the only
woman seated at the bar, walked over to her,
placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling
her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained,
"I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife.
You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son
of a BITCH!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly
like her."
and, after staring for some time at the only
woman seated at the bar, walked over to her,
placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling
her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained,
"I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife.
You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son
of a BITCH!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly
like her."
••
What's a accordion good for?
Learning how to fold a map.
Learning how to fold a map.
••
A study in Scotland showed ... that the kind of
"male face" a woman finds attractive can differ
depending on where a woman is in her
menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is post-menstrual she may
be attracted to plain facial features.
When pre-menstrual she can be attracted to
more feminine features in a man.
If she is ovulating she is attracted to men with
rugged, masculine features.
And if she is menstruating she is more prone
to be seen next to a man with a pair of scissors
shoved in his temple.
"male face" a woman finds attractive can differ
depending on where a woman is in her
menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is post-menstrual she may
be attracted to plain facial features.
When pre-menstrual she can be attracted to
more feminine features in a man.
If she is ovulating she is attracted to men with
rugged, masculine features.
And if she is menstruating she is more prone
to be seen next to a man with a pair of scissors
shoved in his temple.
••
How do you get Visual Aids?
From a nasty poke in the eye.
From a nasty poke in the eye.
••
Scientists have discovered what causes memory
loss in older people.
Uh, I forgot what the discovery was...Shit!
loss in older people.
Uh, I forgot what the discovery was...Shit!
••••
