••
♥
A young man, with a promising career ahead of
him, decided to marry a respectable convent girl,
untarnished with the sins of contemporary
society.
After the wedding service, the bridal couple had
to drive through the more unsavory areas of the
city on the way to the reception.
"William, what are those women doing leaning
against lampposts?"
"Oh, those are just prostitutes who hire their
bodies out for sex at fifty dollars a trick."
"Wow, fifty dollars!" exclaimed the bride, "the
monks only used to give us an apple..."
••
Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years.
The day he got out, his wife and son were there to
pick him up.
He came through the gates and got into the car.
The only thing he said was, "F.F."
His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F."
Out on the highway, he said, "F.F."
She responded simply, "E.F."
He repeated, "F.F."
She again replied, "E.F."
"Mom! Dad!" their son yelled..... "What's going on?"
Bad Bernie answered: "Your mother wants to eat
first!"
The day he got out, his wife and son were there to
pick him up.
He came through the gates and got into the car.
The only thing he said was, "F.F."
His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F."
Out on the highway, he said, "F.F."
She responded simply, "E.F."
He repeated, "F.F."
She again replied, "E.F."
"Mom! Dad!" their son yelled..... "What's going on?"
Bad Bernie answered: "Your mother wants to eat
first!"
••
Police in Italy say they've arrested **Horse**
owners who were feeding Viagra to their racehorses.
Apparently, police became suspicious when a
**Horse** won a close race and it wasn't by a
nose.
owners who were feeding Viagra to their racehorses.
Apparently, police became suspicious when a
**Horse** won a close race and it wasn't by a
nose.
••
The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and
demanded his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in
the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555.
Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."
demanded his room be changed.
"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in
the hotel."
"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.
"Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555.
Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.
"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."
••
Corey said the other morning at the McDonald's
drive thru the Judi asked if he'd like the 2 for 1
apple pie special.
I told her yes and then she said, "I'm sorry, we're
all out of apple pies."
drive thru the Judi asked if he'd like the 2 for 1
apple pie special.
I told her yes and then she said, "I'm sorry, we're
all out of apple pies."
••
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
••
Q: Why was the Egyptian boy confused?
A: His daddy was really a mummy.
A: His daddy was really a mummy.
••
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV
and game console shut down.
It was raining so I couldn’t golf.
So I had to talk to my wife for a few hours.
She seems like a nice person.
and game console shut down.
It was raining so I couldn’t golf.
So I had to talk to my wife for a few hours.
She seems like a nice person.
••
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won
$74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor
ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was
someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying
to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
$74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor
ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was
someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying
to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
••
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
••
Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you
at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect
to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.
at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect
to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.
••••
