••
♥
physical.
The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the girl's
chest and says, 'Big breaths...'
The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen.'
••
One morning following a tiff, I put my pants on too
roughly & ripped the seam along the fly. I glared at my wife and said "I'll wear these
today so everyone in the Office will know what I
have to put up with."
She said, "No, I'll repair them.
I don't want them to know what I have to put up
with."
••
I was just visiting some friends who have a real
working farm. I was watching this one rooster chasing after this
hen, when the friend's wife came out to feed them.
The rooster stopped chasing the hen at once and
ran over to begin eating. I stood
there thinking to myself, "Damn !
I hope I never get that hungry."
••
Confucius say;
"Woman who wear padded bra, make mountain out of molehill."
••
Little Johnny came running into the house and
asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?""No", said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom
heard him yell to his friends.......
"It's okay, we can play that game again!"
••
Little Johnny: "Miss, there's something I didn't
fully understand when you were teaching.""Get the hell out of here!" snapped the teacher.
"But I thought I was free to ask a question
whenever I want," he protested.
"Yes....... But not in the toilet."
••
Deep Thoughts;
Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in
some small way, they will be acknowledged as the
greatest works of genius ever created by Man.
••
I took a chick to my place last night.
The next morning she woke me up, holding up a picture.
"Is this your wife?" she frowned.
"Yes, it is," I replied...... "She passed away."
"How sad," she sighed.
"How did your sons take it?"
"I haven't told them yet," I replied.
"They stayed at their Grandma's last night."
••
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the
other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop
and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss".
He then taped it to his office door.
Meeting with the other creatives
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he
found that someone had taped a note to the sign
that said.
"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
••
Sam and I were talking the other day; he was
complaining that his wife has been on FaceBook every day for a month now...
I said that's nothin' my wife's been on ebay for
18 Months, and I still haven't got a single bid an her!
••
A few years ago my wife started to wear tight jeans.
I went out and bought a convertible.Then she bleached her hair.
I took a lot of multiple vitamin shots.
Just a few months ago, she had a face lift and a
"tummy tuck."
I got an implant.
And that's the way its been for the two of us:
side by side -- growing young together.
••••
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