Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

What's Britney Spears' next career goal?
 To learn how to sing.

 

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After years of psychotherapy, John no longer
believes he is a grain of wheat.
However, one day he and a friend came across a
chicken, and John was terrified.
"Why are you so afraid, you're not a grain
of wheat after all," his friend asked.
John replied, "You know it and I know it,
but the chicken doesn't know it."

 

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What's a Jewish American Princess's idea of kinky
sex?
She moves.

 

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What has four asses?
Eight half assed politicians.

 

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There are two doctors staying in a hotel.
They both are frantic and worried men who are
pacing the hallway in the hotel lobby.
One turns to the other and says, "I'm a doctor and
I have a patient in my room with a wooden leg.
I have the leg apart and I can't get it back together!"
The other doctor says, "Good God, I wish that were
all I had to worry about!
I have a great looking girl in my room with both
legs apart, and I can't remember my room number!

 

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Dermatologist: A doctor who makes
rash decisions.

 

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What do West Virginians call a pretty woman?
A tourist.

 

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The White House says President Obama will make
a speech on campaign finance reform today in
California,
"The exact time hasn't been announced.
Aides are still trying to fit it in between fund-raisers."

 

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The Democratic National Committee finally
released thousands
of pages of financial disclosure information.
"Unfortunately, they released them from a
third-floor balcony in New York during the parade
for the Yankees."

 

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I was going to cross the fence to see if the grass
was greener on the other side.
I learned a shocking lesson, the fence was electric.

 

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