••
♥
As senior citizens, my wife and I support each
others memory, or lack of it.
One night while sitting at the kitchen table
we were chatting about garden chores.
It remended me of something I had to get from the
garage.
When I got to the door, my mind went blank.
I returned to the table a asked my wife what it
was I was going to get.
She looked up at me with a curious stare and asked,
"Just who in the hell are you?"
others memory, or lack of it.
One night while sitting at the kitchen table
we were chatting about garden chores.
It remended me of something I had to get from the
garage.
When I got to the door, my mind went blank.
I returned to the table a asked my wife what it
was I was going to get.
She looked up at me with a curious stare and asked,
"Just who in the hell are you?"
••
The Definition of a Fart;
The lonely cry of an imprisoned turd........
The lonely cry of an imprisoned turd........
••
We've all heared that a million monkeys banging
on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce
the entire works of Shakespeare.
Now, thanks to the internet, we know this is not
true.
on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce
the entire works of Shakespeare.
Now, thanks to the internet, we know this is not
true.
••
one liners.....
* Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take
them while driving.
* Having one child makes you a parent; having two
you are a referee.
* Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right and the other is the husband!
* You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
* Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do
not vote.
* Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting
before you get tired.
one liners.....
* Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take
them while driving.
* Having one child makes you a parent; having two
you are a referee.
* Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right and the other is the husband!
* You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
* Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do
not vote.
* Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting
before you get tired.
••
The breasts of a barmaid of Crale,
Were tattooed with the price of brown ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.
Were tattooed with the price of brown ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.
••
President Obama is talking tough.
He said he will not rest until Syrian President
Assad's power has been reduced to the point
where he’s on "Dancing With the Stars."
He said he will not rest until Syrian President
Assad's power has been reduced to the point
where he’s on "Dancing With the Stars."
••
What is the difference between a jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips.....
A canoe tips.....
••
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered
from papers across the country.
*Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
*Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose
Hunters.
*Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based..
*Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store.
*Prostitutes Appeal to Pope.
*Teacher Strikes Idle Kids.
*Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice.
*Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant.
*Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin.
from papers across the country.
*Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
*Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose
Hunters.
*Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based..
*Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store.
*Prostitutes Appeal to Pope.
*Teacher Strikes Idle Kids.
*Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice.
*Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant.
*Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin.
••
Lulu said...After my husband and I had a huge
argument, we ended up not talking to each other
for days.
Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of
his shirts was.
"Oh," I said, "So now you're speaking to me."
He looked confused,
"What are you talking about?"
"Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for
three days?" I challenged.
"No," he said, "I just thought we were getting
along."
argument, we ended up not talking to each other
for days.
Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of
his shirts was.
"Oh," I said, "So now you're speaking to me."
He looked confused,
"What are you talking about?"
"Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for
three days?" I challenged.
"No," he said, "I just thought we were getting
along."
••
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
A Frosted Flake.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
A Frosted Flake.
••
Tower: Mission 123, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.
Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost
the whole instrument panel!
Tower: Mission 123, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.
Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost
the whole instrument panel!
••••
