••
♥
Today's SPECIAL in the Nairobi Mall food store....
*Swiss cheese*
Used to be ordinary tasty cheddar but we have put
a lot of 9mm holes in it specially for you.
••
Norreen did a "Self-Judi" when meeting a business
partner of her husband.
She was asked if she came from a large family.
"I said, no, the men are only about six feet tall and
pretty thin."
partner of her husband.
She was asked if she came from a large family.
"I said, no, the men are only about six feet tall and
pretty thin."
••
Job Interview Question;
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy
night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three
people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been
dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one passenger in
your car?
Think before you continue reading.
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once
actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going
to die, and thus you should save her first; or you
could take the old friend because he once saved
your life, and this would be the perfect chance to
pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect
dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants)
had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to
my old friend, and let him take the lady to the
hospital.
I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the
woman of my dreams."
Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy
night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three
people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been
dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to,
knowing that there could only be one passenger in
your car?
Think before you continue reading.
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once
actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going
to die, and thus you should save her first; or you
could take the old friend because he once saved
your life, and this would be the perfect chance to
pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect
dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants)
had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to
my old friend, and let him take the lady to the
hospital.
I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the
woman of my dreams."
Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
••
Spence was discussing the latest design changes on
this one car at the car show.
Someone noted the windshield wipers now didn't
show from the front of the car.
I opened my mouth and seriously suggested,
"maybe the windshield wipers are on the *inside*
of the windshield now . . . "
this one car at the car show.
Someone noted the windshield wipers now didn't
show from the front of the car.
I opened my mouth and seriously suggested,
"maybe the windshield wipers are on the *inside*
of the windshield now . . . "
••
In England they opened the world’s first sex theme
park.
You know what is really embarrassing?
When a guy flunks the “You must be this big to get
on this ride” test.
park.
You know what is really embarrassing?
When a guy flunks the “You must be this big to get
on this ride” test.
••
A Turk by the name of Haroun
Ate whisky by means of a spoon
To one who asked why
This turk made reply:
"To drink is forbidden, you loon."
Ate whisky by means of a spoon
To one who asked why
This turk made reply:
"To drink is forbidden, you loon."
••
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to
equalize thepressure on your eardrums.
This pressure change outside your eardrums
unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they
must yawn to even it out.
equalize thepressure on your eardrums.
This pressure change outside your eardrums
unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they
must yawn to even it out.
••
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot
instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers
take their seats and get prepared for an emergency
landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight
attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except
the lawyers are still going around passing out
business cards."
instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers
take their seats and get prepared for an emergency
landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight
attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except
the lawyers are still going around passing out
business cards."
••
Lord, how the day passes! It's like a life -
so quickly when we don't
watch it, and so slowly if we do. - John Steinbeck
so quickly when we don't
watch it, and so slowly if we do. - John Steinbeck
••
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a
desolated area.
Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big
strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull,
Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!"
Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco,
pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy,
pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of
the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very
curious.
He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the
wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he
thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't
even try!"
desolated area.
Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big
strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull,
Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!"
Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco,
pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy,
pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of
the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very
curious.
He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the
wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he
thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't
even try!"
••
A man goes into a library and asks where he can
find books on suicide.
‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian.
The man replies, ‘But I’ve already looked in that
section, It’s empty.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ says the librarian.
‘They don’t often bring them back.'
find books on suicide.
‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian.
The man replies, ‘But I’ve already looked in that
section, It’s empty.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ says the librarian.
‘They don’t often bring them back.'
••••
