Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to
deforestation.
Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when
the arms are brought in close to the body, the
cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin
dangerously fast.

 

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Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using
the word, 'geometry.'"
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it
finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree."

 

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Jesus can walk on water,
but Chuck Norris can swim on land.

 

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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ping Pong!
Ping Pong who?
Ping Pong the witch is dead....!

 

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Beginning next year, Greene County's jails will ban
cigarettes, stop handing out sugar and begin
charging for coffee.
Prison officials are also contemplating a complete
end to bed turn-down / chocolate mint service and
expect to slash the concierge's hours in half.

 

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There once was a lady from Worcester,
Who thought a man had seduced her.
She woke up and screamed,
It was only a dream,
It was the bump on the mattress that goosed her.

 

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A young lady was a theater major applying for fall
semester classes.
At the end of the busy day she goes back to her
dorm and enters in a huff of anger.
"What's wrong, Shelly?" Asks her roommate.
"Well, all the acting classes are filled.
I couldn't even get into Mime class."
"Why not?"
"How should I know?
You can't get a word out of those people!"

 

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A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer
knows the judge.

 

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The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their
cars is that it's easier to go faster when you're
always going downhill.

 

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