♣♣
♥
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my
wife is having sex with me because she can't afford
batteries.
wife is having sex with me because she can't afford
batteries.
♣♣
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark,
but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark,
but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
♣♣
Leo said, "It was all going OK until we split the
house.
Seems.... I got the OUT-side."
house.
Seems.... I got the OUT-side."
♣♣
The UN sponsored a competition on which nation
can produce the best book on elephants.
The British submited a dry historical account
"The Elephant and the British Empire."
The French submited a text "The Sensuality of the
Elephant -- a Personal Account."
The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An
Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the
Science of the Elephant's Ear."
The Americans submited an article from "Money"
magazine: "Elephants -- the Perfect Tax Shelter for
the 80s"
Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants --
they're better than People"
The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled
"The superiority of the Soviet Elephant"And
submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought
forth by the Soviet Elephant."
But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier
"We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to
buy a Honda instead"
can produce the best book on elephants.
The British submited a dry historical account
"The Elephant and the British Empire."
The French submited a text "The Sensuality of the
Elephant -- a Personal Account."
The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An
Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the
Science of the Elephant's Ear."
The Americans submited an article from "Money"
magazine: "Elephants -- the Perfect Tax Shelter for
the 80s"
Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants --
they're better than People"
The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled
"The superiority of the Soviet Elephant"And
submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought
forth by the Soviet Elephant."
But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier
"We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to
buy a Honda instead"
♣♣
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside
desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to
get out. --Montaigne
desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to
get out. --Montaigne
♣♣
I was just visiting some friends who have a real
working farm.
I was watching this one rooster chasing after this
hen, when the friend's wife came out to feed them.
The rooster stopped chasing the hen at once and
ran over to begin eating. I stood
there thinking to myself, "Damn !
I hope I never get that hungry."
working farm.
I was watching this one rooster chasing after this
hen, when the friend's wife came out to feed them.
The rooster stopped chasing the hen at once and
ran over to begin eating. I stood
there thinking to myself, "Damn !
I hope I never get that hungry."
♣♣
The other day, I was told that the reason why
women wear bright-red lipstick is for men to
subliminally think of the other set of lips.
I was told that from a girl who was wearing
bright-red lipstick....
women wear bright-red lipstick is for men to
subliminally think of the other set of lips.
I was told that from a girl who was wearing
bright-red lipstick....
♣♣
A pair of C-ville robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit
shot him.
nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit
shot him.
♣♣♣♣
