# 2090

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Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth
and asked his mother, "How was I born?"
"The stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said Little Johnny.
"Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?"
"Well, darling, the stork brought them too,"
said the mother.
The next day Little Johnny handed in his paper to
the teacher.
It read, "This report is impossible to write due to
the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth
in my family for three generations."

 

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What do you call a dog with no legs?
Hehe...it doen't matter, it's not going to come
anyway!

 

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Bill Gates was dining in a restaurant with his
friends.
When he was ready to go, he gave a $10 tip to the
waiter.
The waiter was taken aback and looked blankly at
Bill Gates.
Bill Gates asked the waiter, "Is something wrong?"
The waiter said, "Sir, I am a little shocked.
Your son was here last week and dined at the same
table.
He gave another waiter a tip of $ 1000 and you,
his father - the richest man in the world - you only
gave me $ 10?"
Bill Gates smiled & replied in a philosophical
mood, "He is the son of the world's richest man,
but I am the son of a wood cutter!!"

 

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Bob tries hard to convince is friend, William to go
bungee jumping with him.
William says, "There's no way I am gonna go
bungee jumping with you......
I was born thanks to a broken rubber,
I don't wanna die because of one!"

 

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A police 'safety officer' was visiting a primary
school in a particularly rough area of Manchester,
England.
'Why shouldn't you touch the oven door or the
kettle?' he asked the assembled class.
A young girls hand shot into the air.
'Because you might leave fingerprints,' she answered.

 

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The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a
familiar face at the bar.
"Elliot," she said, pointing "do you see that man
downing bourbon at the bar?"
The husband looked over and nodded.
"Well," the woman continued, "he's been drinking
like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!"
The husband returned to his meal.
"Nonsense," he said, "even that's not worth so
much celebrating!"

 

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A teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty
boy walked up to him.
Little boy : "Teacher are you sleeping in class?"
Teacher : "No I am not sleeping in class."
Little boy : "What were you doing sir ?"
Teacher : " I was talking to God."
The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class
and the same teacher walks up to him.
Teacher : "Young man, you are sleeping in my class."
Little boy : "No not me sir, I am not sleeping."
Angry teacher: "What were you doing."
Little boy : "I was talking to God."
Angry teacher: "What did he say."
Little boy : "God said he never spoke to you
yesterday."

 

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Some people don't like sausages or bacon, these
people are called terrorists.

 

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Salt Lake City is No. 1 in the world in Jell-O
consumption.
Says Jay Leno, "But LA is still No. 1 if you include
recreational use.
You know -- naked wrestling, Jell-O shots."

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