••
♥
A woman, about to undergo an IRS audit, asked her
accountant for advice on what to wear.
"Wear your shabbiest clothing.
Let them think you are a pauper".
Then she asked her legal counsel the same question,
but got the opposite advice.
"Do not let them intimidate you.
Wear your finest attire".
Utterly confused at this point, she went to her rabbi,
told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some
resolution of her dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story" replied the rabbi.
"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what
to wear on her wedding night.
'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up
to your neck.'
But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting
advice.
'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down
to your navel'".
the woman protested "Rabbi, what does all this have to
do with my problem with the IRS?"
"Don't you see?
It doesn't matter what you wear my dear! Either way,
the results will be the same"...
accountant for advice on what to wear.
"Wear your shabbiest clothing.
Let them think you are a pauper".
Then she asked her legal counsel the same question,
but got the opposite advice.
"Do not let them intimidate you.
Wear your finest attire".
Utterly confused at this point, she went to her rabbi,
told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some
resolution of her dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story" replied the rabbi.
"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what
to wear on her wedding night.
'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up
to your neck.'
But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting
advice.
'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down
to your navel'".
the woman protested "Rabbi, what does all this have to
do with my problem with the IRS?"
"Don't you see?
It doesn't matter what you wear my dear! Either way,
the results will be the same"...
••
A young bride and groom to be had just selected their
wedding rings.
As the young lady admired the plain platinum and
diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly
looked concerned.
"Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there
anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best
ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater
three times a day.
wedding rings.
As the young lady admired the plain platinum and
diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly
looked concerned.
"Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there
anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best
ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater
three times a day.
••
When I was growing up, my mom told me .....
I could be anybody I wanted to be.
Turns out now a days they call that identity theft...
I could be anybody I wanted to be.
Turns out now a days they call that identity theft...
••
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are in a psychology
class.
The professor asks the brunette, "What is the opposite of
joy?"
The brunette answers, "Sorrow."
Then he asks the redhead, "What is the opposite of
depression?"
The redhead answers, "Happiness."
Then he asks the blonde, "What is the opposite of woe?"
Blondie says, "Giddyup!"
class.
The professor asks the brunette, "What is the opposite of
joy?"
The brunette answers, "Sorrow."
Then he asks the redhead, "What is the opposite of
depression?"
The redhead answers, "Happiness."
Then he asks the blonde, "What is the opposite of woe?"
Blondie says, "Giddyup!"
••
Distributed by the Chamber of
Commerce in Salem Mass.: "Salem, the Witch City.
Stop by for a spell."
Commerce in Salem Mass.: "Salem, the Witch City.
Stop by for a spell."
••
A recent government study has shown that most people
believe too much money and time are wasted on pointless
government studies.
Your tax money hard at work.
believe too much money and time are wasted on pointless
government studies.
Your tax money hard at work.
••
Wife and I had words but I didn't get to use any.......
••
A local church built a new sanctuary.
They moved their very fine old pipe organ from to the
new sanctuary.
It was an intricate task that was completed successfully.
The local news heralded . . . "St. Paul Completes Organ
Transplant."
They moved their very fine old pipe organ from to the
new sanctuary.
It was an intricate task that was completed successfully.
The local news heralded . . . "St. Paul Completes Organ
Transplant."
••
I think I'm emotionally constipated.....
Cuz I haven't given a shit in days.
••••
Cuz I haven't given a shit in days.
••••
