••
♥
Why did the chicken run onto the football field?
Because the umpire called a foul.
Because the umpire called a foul.
••
“Did you hear about the farmer who got attacked by a
cow?
He milked it for all it was worth.”
cow?
He milked it for all it was worth.”
••
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars,
Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris has more money than you.
••
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped,
turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant,
"What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine, "
he explained.
"It took us awhile to find a new pilot."
turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant,
"What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine, "
he explained.
"It took us awhile to find a new pilot."
••
US just issued terrorist warning......
something about some new kind of alphabet bomb.
If it goes off, it could spell disaster
something about some new kind of alphabet bomb.
If it goes off, it could spell disaster
••
At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Texas.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an
older man.
"Say, is this really a healthy place?"
"It sure is," the man replied.
"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word.
I had hardly any hair on my head.
I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I
had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said John.
"How long have you been here?"
"I was born here.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an
older man.
"Say, is this really a healthy place?"
"It sure is," the man replied.
"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word.
I had hardly any hair on my head.
I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I
had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said John.
"How long have you been here?"
"I was born here.
••
Anyone who thinks he is too small to make a difference
has never been in bed with a mosquito.
Anyone who thinks he is too small to make a difference
has never been in bed with a mosquito.
••
When a woman wears leather clothing
A man's heart beats quicker
His throat gets dry
He goes week in the knees
And he begins to think irrationally
Ever wonder why?
Because she smells like a new truck!!!
When a woman wears leather clothing
A man's heart beats quicker
His throat gets dry
He goes week in the knees
And he begins to think irrationally
Ever wonder why?
Because she smells like a new truck!!!
••
If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.
••
My young brother asked me what happens after we die.
I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and
worms eat our bodies.
I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us
go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset
him.
I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and
worms eat our bodies.
I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us
go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset
him.
••••
